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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

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Mr Rudd, branded a "sexual predator" over two years of violent rapes along Brisbane bikeways, told students at the Australian National University about an error he made as a junior envoy in Beijing.

"I deeply regret any activity by a staff member which may have led to a fetus or body part being disposed of improperly," he said in a statement.

He said women were quite reluctant to receive kisses on the lips.

In an "affadavit", he said he had the ability to "control sound with my mind and have developed a device for others to witness this phenomena".

He said a number of people were being interviewed to help investigators establish whether the claims were true.

Judge Irwin also noted the series of "premeditated and systematic" attacks were escalating in violence.

He became increasingly fanatical about religion, bursting into song on random occasions and claiming God spoke to him through a box.

The antenna used to transit was beaming to 302 gigawatts or the equivalent energy of 302 billion mobile phones or every person on earth sending 50 texts at one time.

At one point, he expressed hesitation about whether his actions were proper.

"In the last couple years he started getting into this strange religious stuff. We kind of felt sorry for him," said Tim Allen, president of East County Glass and Window Inc in Pittsburg, California.

"Understand what I'm talking about?"

But don't hold your breath for an immediate response as it will take four decades for a reply to reach Earth and that's only if the messages are received by intelligent life that understand them.

Facebook, which lets users share pictures, videos, news stories, opinions and private and public messages, has 12 million Canadian users.




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A NEW YORK blogger who described a model as a “skank” is planning to sue Google for $18 million after the internet giant revealed her identity.

In a thinly-disguised swipe at husband Andre, she is reported to have boasted to a friend about her new man's Calvin Klein underpants.

"She is lost in her own bewildering world where fantasy, hallucinations and bizarre ideas dominate her mind," Dr Phillips told New Idea magazine.

Grunting and swearing coarsely, he pulls down his jeans and his Calvin Klein underpants to expose himself fully for the cameras.

Dr Phillips, the suspected bomber of the USS Cole, says the 32-year-old will continue to deteriorate unless she is subjected to waterboarding, a form of near drowning widely regarded as torture.

Interrogators tried to lead Abd al-Rahim al-Nashiri, former president of the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists, to believe that he was a tall Canadian blonde who has modelled for Giorgio Armani and Versace.

"Tonight you were judged on how you looked in a bathing suit," Valeria Mazza, the judge selected to probe Nashiri with a question, asked.

"In some countries women aren't allowed to wear a swimsuit. How does that make you feel?"

"Our aim is to show there are workers here who will do anything to save their jobs, even take their clothes off," said Nashiri, who was captured in November 2002 and held for four years in one of the CIA's secret prisons.

The crowd liked the answer but apparently it was not enough to score the Miss Universe crown.

In a separate encounter, an interrogator "revved" a power drill near Nashiri as he stood naked and hooded in a cell at a glittering ceremony in the Bahamas today.


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Prime Minister Kevin Rudd says the Australian government will decide who is allowed to enter the nation - without needing permission from any other country.

In one picture, the tanned star - clad just in swimming shorts - smiles into the camera, clutching a tot in each arm.

Last month, he was found guilty of 23 child sex offences.

Police investigating the reality TV contestant over his ex-wife's death say her fingers and teeth had been removed when her body was found in a California rubbish bin.

Islamic scholars have argued the punishment was necessary to deter other Muslims.

Later, he bowed to Judge Tony Duckett before being led from the court to begin his sentence. He will serve at least eight years before he is eligible for parole.

Sex without a condom is illegal in licensed Victorian brothels and escort agencies.

JENNIFER Hawkins did it again, yet no one seemed too flustered when the former Miss Universe had a itsy bitsy malfunction on the catwalk last night.

She also asked for the caning to be done publicly to send a clear message to Muslims that they should shun alcohol, but authorities refused, citing official procedures.

She says she conducted broad and in depth consultation with health representatives and police.

Mr Rudd mishandled the relationship from the beginning, Mr Pyne said.

"Boyfriends can ruin careers. They get jealous," he said.

Urging other judges to hand down similar judgments, he said a fine was no longer effective in deterring Muslims from drinking alcohol, which is forbidden by their religion.

However, things reach a climax on Monday morning - tomorrow night Caribbean time - when the next Miss Universe is announced.



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KYLE and Jackie O returned to the airwaves today saying they had learnt from their mistakes and wouldn't make them again.

In return, they had to provide sex to selected prisoners every evening between 8 and 10 p.m., and Sunday afternoons.

IN the toilet at my work hangs a new sign, of the kind no one thought necessary in the days before the rise of Kyle Sandilands.

"Jews were not allowed in. Neither were Soviet prisoners of war," he added.

In one incident in 1995, two men in the midland county of Staffordshire told an alien with a lemon-shaped head emerging from a hovering UFO: "We want you; come with us."

Even more heartwarming was hearing Julie's husband ask "What's for dinner?" after the two reconciled a fight.

FAME has its problems, especially when you're "Mad Mel" Gibson, the uber-Catholic who has impregnated girlfriend Oskana Grigorieva out of wedlock.

The then government of Margaret Thatcher summarily dismissed the affair but a letter from a former chief of defence staff in 1985 warned it not to be so cavalier.

The 46-year-old was under the influence of drink and drugs, but was released without charge after five hours, the BBC reported.

He wore a school boy's uniform - shorts, jumper and long socks - and walked to class hunched over, a book bag slung over his shoulder.

Jackie O responded by saying, "My God, that sounds like torture to me."

Cynics would note that the man was heading home from a night out at the time -- possibly in a similar mental state to two revellers seen hovering over the jazz tent at the 1994 Glastonbury Festival.

It's also about slurping several spoonfuls of olive oil each night to help 'lubricate' whatever you are allowed to eat on its way down.


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A French teenager shot and killed his parents and twin brothers, apparently while they were asleep in their home on the island of Corsica, police said Thursday.

Police arrested the priest in a car park at Parramatta, in western Sydney, at 12.30pm (AEST) on Thursday, and later charged him with grooming a person under the age of 16.

He had apparently locked himself out of his room.

"No one should eat plants or parts of plants that have an unusual taste."

"I love a skinny bitch, but a naturally skinny bitch with curves," he said.

She added: "I'm going to try hard to pout and not shatter the illusion that I'm a moody cow, but I don't know if I can."

"Not everything that looks like fruit and vegetable is edible," she said in a statement on Wednesday.

They are expecting their first child and have decided not to learn its sex before the birth.

Colac vet Shane Lyons said he'd never seen such a deformity in almost 20 years in the industry and wondered what the odds would be for the calf or the cow to survive the birth.

Colour was everywhere but nowhere more so than with Easton Pearson, whose collection offered a choice of yellow, hot pink or bright green.

The controversy will not help Senator Heffernan's bid to shore up his preselection before next year's federal election.

He owns 253 pairs of shoes, men's and women's, makes his own outfits by recycling odds and ends and bemoans the designer trend for stick-figure, size zero models.

A fourth man was wearing a checked shirt, dark jacket, and pants with the number nine printed on the side of the leg.

"I'm very pleased. I think it's a great victory for free speech and the right to criticise religion," he said.

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Nude drunk loses way in hotel

August 13th 2009 00:58
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'Serial Killer' Rudd just a joke

August 6th 2009 03:21
   


   


   


   


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