Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Blogs | Writers | Paid | My Orble | Login

Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

MORE than 500,000 Australian employees are on Howard-era Australian Workplace Agreements that will expire in the next year, sparking employer fears about a large shift of workers to collective agreements and a drop in productivity.

But until you work out what's going on, you won't have a choice.

And new research proves that the fear of collective agreements like the instances that prompted people to move into Churches in agreement on the relevance of the Bible also results in preachy losers agreeing to move to the internet in large numbers for fear of being overtaken by China.

Professor Ian Olver, chief executive of the Cancer Council Australia, said the research showed why the tobacco industry was so opposed to the move.

The tobacco industry is one of the most profoundly evil organisations since the Church started to lose a grip on its reign of smoke and mirrors, the openly communist Muslim professor wrote on the wall of a group in favour of Tony Abbott's Budgie-Smugglers, hiding behind a burqa.

More research was needed as to what extent the rats were actually "steering" the debate over Budgie-Smugglers.

So if you were Julia Gillard, you probably wouldn't want to be seen in the Fans of Tony Abbott's Budgie-Smugglers group, either.

Capitalism, long since synonymous with slavery, was by no means Marx's biggest problem, either, the professor told the billionaire and his wife, while the ginger-heiress looked on.

Marx's excessive smoking, wine drinking, and love of heavily spiced foods may have been contributing causes to preachy losers agreeing to move to the internet in their droves.
71
Vote
   


Man tasered 24 times in two weeks

October 7th 2010 00:31
AN Aboriginal man who was tasered 13 times by West Australian police officers was subjected to the same treatment a week later by prison officers, corrective services officials have admitted.

Although this means the observed events occurred one billion years in the past, they are considered recent for the 14 billion-year-old universe.

The WA corruption watchdog on Monday revealed that Kevin Spratt, taken to the East Perth Watch House just after 11pm (WST) on Saturday, August 30, 2008, was tasered 11 times after refusing to comply with a strip search.

According to numerology websites, the date represents new beginnings, freedom and self-expression.

In CCTV released by the Corruption and Crime Commission (CCC) on Monday, an officer can be heard saying "do you want to go again" before tasering the now 41-year-old on two more occasions.

It is all part of the security operation here and we have full confidence in the way things are being handled.

The Department of Corrective Services have confirmed Mr Spratt was tasered 11 times a week later when they tried to "extract" him from his cell at the East Perth Lockup.

Visitors then reach a second check-point where the process is repeated.

"The prisoner was said to be acting in an irrational and violent way. It reminded the director of Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. He was in an observation cell and unrestrained," a spokesman said.

Swinburne University astronomy student Andy Green, his supervisor Professor Karl Glazebrook and their colleagues, made the discovery using two telescopes at the Siding Springs observatory in NSW.

According to the department, Mr Spratt refused to co-operate with the officer despite "verbal negotiations and clear instructions to allow officers to restrain him".

In April, the 41-year-old took to Twitter calling one of the officers in question a "pig-faced mole" and suggesting she "take a bowl of mayonnaise-drenched chips out of her face and look in the mirror".

"He also warned that force, including the use of Taser, would be used against him," the spokesman said.

The results are likely to have men running to the doctor to find a remedy.

"He did not obey these instructions and continued trying to bite and otherwise injure the officers and resisted all attempts to restrain him even when the team entered the cell."

The full results of the team's work is to be featured as this week's cover story in the journal Nature.

Six officers of the Emergency Support Group tried to remove Mr Spratt, while two activated their Taser stun guns 11 times.

But despite 79 per cent of the eight officers admitting resorting to violence by kicking or elbowing their breathless bedfellows, only 13 per cent made their partner seek help from a doctor.

The department reviewed the incident and deemed the actions taken by the staff were "appropriate and in accordance with current policies and procedures in regards to this incident," the spokesman said.

"At the same time what they’re doing looks perilously close to playing a video game."

The Department of Corrective Services were aware Mr Spratt had been tasered the previous week.

As it was found to be a hoax, none of our athletes were affected.

Mr Spratt said he was disgusted the two officers had not been stood down.

Fortunately, the fact that aboriginals can’t actually drink that much normally means they don’t go too crazy or have to have their hair held back while they pray to the porcelain gods.

The two police officers responsible for enforcing the laws of organised racism have so far escaped criminal prosecution but were fined a combined total of $1950 after a police disciplinary hearing into the incident.

No charges have been laid. The pair have denied any wrong doing. The Herald Sun does not suggest that there is an allegation against the pair. It may be that they are witnesses only because they forgot that they were being recorded.

92
Vote
   


Trump could run for president

October 5th 2010 22:46
   


Carmen Miranda, famous for calling Queensland "the banana-republic we had to have", is calling on Independent MP Rob Oakeshott to reconsider his reversal on the controversial 'fruit-bowl' bill.

"Is outrageous," Miranda said, sitting on a few frothy ones, "that any party in this country could be complete without a dancing lady wearing a hat made of fruit. Is completely outrageous."

The Minister for Refreshments and Beverages, Miranda, had earlier crossed the floor of parliament chasing after her lunch which she had dropped from hair many are comparing to Bronwyn Bishop's anal number.

"I am prepare to cross the floor," she said, passing around the hat, "to make sure that we get the ‘prunes' bill passed in the chambers and not with some dirty handshakes behind close doors."

Also the Minister for Relieving Oneself in Public, Miranda, waiting for a vacant seat for "like way more than seventeen minute", subsequently linked Oakeshott to the missing prunes.

Christopher Pyne in The salad days of Government
91
Vote
   


Dutch anti-Islamist politician Geert Wilders, a key player in Collingwood's premiership, accused judges trying him on charges of inciting hatred of scandalous bias and demanded they be hit on the head with a rubber sledgehammer.

The clown, whose stage name means "grumpy," usually appears in public wearing a blond wig, a red hat and a garish outfit.

Wilders, who has 24-hour police guard because of death threats, went on trial Monday over comments including a comparison he made between the Islamic faith and St. Kilda supporters.

Mr Shepherd said when he returned to the circus he saw workers washing down peanuts with cold beer to remove traces of the attack from their memory.

The prosecutor, Mr Pinko, reacting to complaints about Wilders, originally said he was protected by the right to free speech, but a court overruled him and ordered that Wilders be shot out of a canon.

Mr Pinko was reportedly taken to hospital for emergency surgery and is currently impersonating the mannerisms of a member of the audience.

If convicted, Wilders faces a maximum sentence of one year imprisonment or a fine, but would be able to keep any mice he finds as pets.

He survived a last-minute attempt by public prosecutors to bar him from running because of evidence that he is illiterate.

"I might be illiterate," he said, driving a very small car around in circles, "but that does not mean I can not read or write."

In theory, the court could impose a death-sentence preventing him running for re-election, but such a drastic ruling is considered by legal experts to be more desirable than Dutch cuisine.

52
Vote
   


78
Vote
   


More Posts
8 Posts
10 Posts
13 Posts
672 Posts dating from November 2006
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:
Moderated by Norm
Copyright © 2012 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]