Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Blogs | Writers | Paid | My Orble | Login

Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

Consumption Malfunction - November 2010

Suicide twins had Gloria Estefan's Greatest Hits in their luggage

November 25th 2010 21:32
MUSIC found in the luggage of the Australian twin sisters who carried out a suicide pact at a Colorado shooting range suggest they were victims of fashion.

Police investigating the death of Kristin Hermeler, 29, and the attempted suicide of her sister Candice, also found written notes that suggest they did not watch nearly enough Oprah.

Dr Phil, who has now closed the investigation, also revealed that God isn't nearly as real as an opinionated white guy with a shit suit and carrying on about a load of cases of his very own "baggage".

Critics of easy-listening adult contemporary music cite the twins' suicide attempt as yet another example of the dangers of Gloria Estefan in concert with heavy doses of Julio Iglesias and Kenny Rogers.

Items not found in twins' luggage

CDs

Greatest Hits - Judas Priest

Books

The Anarchist's Cookbook

For help or information about anarchy and other fashion issues visit chaos on the established order.

THREE teens survived 50 days adrift in the Pacific in a small tinnie, sharing a single raw seagull and drinking small amounts of rainwater.


75
Vote
Comments (2)Comments (2) Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Fashion
   


Pope promises to quit if he can't do the job

November 23rd 2010 22:24
A man filmed confronting airport staff in mid-November and telling an official to keep his hands off my junk -- slang for genitals -- is considered to be in good health, but broke his wrist last year after falling while on holiday in the Alps.

He said rescuers were trying to source another robot, from Australia or America, ‘‘as soon as possible’’.

"We want to work with industry to make sure we have the safest machines available. That is the bottom line. They are safe for everyday use," he told MSNBC television.

One of the crew carrying out the drilling suffered a suspected sprained ankle during the operation, he added.

They're the people who live in the nice big houses, have all the holidays and the nice toys.

Toys are often the best for children's development, a parenting expert says.

They are the people we really need to get our hands on.

The Pontiff, 83, challenged centuries of Roman Catholic Church tradition by saying that when he stalked his ex-wife he urinated in her champagne glass and watched her drink from it.

He admitted that he was often taxed by his papal duties and frequent visits to the toilet.
102
Vote
Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Home & Garden
   


Trump thinking about running for president

November 22nd 2010 21:47
Real estate mogul Donald Trump says he's thinking about running for US president, adding that "everybody's ripping off the United States".

Bomb shells rock the buildings.

"Maybe I'm watching too much television, but you see all those shows like 48 Hours where someone hires a hit man to kill their wife," he said.

Trump told ABC television in an interview he did not actually want to run, but said he was worried about the country's future and thinks he could be the person to stand up to America's rivals.

"I was crying, I was embarrassed that I was in my underwear when they came in, initially," he said.

He singled out China for criticism in the interview, accusing Beijing of manipulating its currency to gain unfair advantage of the United States in global trade competition.

But the 52-year-old had already waited two years to get the MRI scan that finally confirmed what was wrong with him.

He has shown interest in the past in running for president, in both 1988 and 2000.

"It just makes no sense whatsoever. It makes no sense. That's what nobody can understand," said publicist Kathie Berlin, a friend of 40 years.

But, she said in her statement, ''it was all in fun … we all told him to pull his pants back up and started laughing''.

But in the interview, Trump said, "I am thinking about things."

He was left to walk through the airport soaked in urine, and it wasn't until his plane had taken off that he was able to clean up.

He said he expects to decide by June and said he'd likely run as a Republican if he enters the race.

This is a serious matter and police are trying to identify who these animals are.

I became very scared and wet my pants.

"I'm not a detective, I'm a songwriter," said Carol Connors, a two-time Oscar nominee who co-wrote the theme to Rocky, and who said she never discussed payment for sex, and never received any payment.

There's a war raging all around.

I could not shout or say anything because I was too afraid … I opened the bag as he pointed his weapon directly at me. I emptied the bag on the floor. It contained money and papers. I looked at him and he was laughing.

The scene is so heavily scripted that it requires almost no human input at all.

Look up, now.

Fighter jets scream overhead.
64
Vote
Comments (2)Comments (2) Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Money
   


Pope lifts ban on condoms

November 22nd 2010 00:14
PEOPLE prone to aggressive outbursts could benefit from having a sugary drink before they encounter a provocative peer or partner, research has shown.

They are supposed to be given an "enhanced" pat-down, which includes a frisk of their private parts, if they refuse to go through the X-ray machines or if the scanner shows something suspicious.

The historic shift, welcomed yesterday by theologians and health experts, was announced in an interview to be published in a book this week.

The Internet is their way of venting the anger they can't express on the street.

Jesuit moral theologian Jeff King said it was significant that the Pope had refused to go through the X-ray machine.

He went to a nearby house to ask for help for his bleeding head and while there, his female accomplice stole a wallet left lying on the counter.

Their work was greeted by the recorded rants of an actor, who insulted their efforts.

''You could apply the same thing to the married couple where the husband is HIV positive … the primary intention would be to preserve life.''

He was carrying a knife and had a scarf wrapped around his face.

The sessions will be mediated by Tony Fitzgerald QC, whose 1987 judicial inquiry exposed widespread judicial and police corruption in Queensland.

Armed with a knife, he demanded the cashier hand over cash and cigarettes, while his accomplice held the door open.

But there is some good news.

Yeah.
79
Vote
Comments (2)Comments (2) Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Entertainment
   


Lamborghini driver arrested as TV turn up

November 17th 2010 21:45
A Perth boutique car mechanic alleged to have been driving a client's Lamborghini at more than 160km/h has told a court he was only arrested when he tried to abduct an eight-year-old girl in Sydney's southwest.

Being a 'super-light' model, extensive use of expensive carbon-fibre has helped the Superleggera achieve a dry weight of just 1340 kilograms (2954 lb) thus making it the lightest road-going model in Lamborghini's range.

Mechanic Leone Antonino Magistro, 53, on trial for driving in excess of 155km/h, has pleaded not guilty, before the girl was able to escape after kicking him in the shins.

With arguably the largest motor show on earth just starting, you wouldn't expect supercar marque Lamborghini to remain quiet so may we present you the 2011 Lamborghini Gallardo LP 570-4 Superleggera.

Around 11am on January 6 this year, Magistro had just picked up Dr Patrick Nugawela's 2006 bright yellow Lamborghini Gallardo and was heading to his workshop Autodelta in Malaga, wearing a black LA cap and a white Billabong T-shirt.

The fully-covered underbody has been redesigned to include new sill elements and an aggressive diffuser incorporating four large tailpipes while a small rear spoiler come as standard - a large spoiler is available as an option.

Senior Constable Michael Brent told Perth Magistrates Court on Tuesday that the Lamborghini passed him along Reid Highway with the engine roaring loudly and said eating his own hair was like chewing on a sponge.

Making its debut in Geneva, the range-topping Gallardo is the first successor to the original Gallardo Superleggera that debuted back in 2007. The light-weight and track-focussed baby Lambo is powered by a 5.2-litre V10 with direct-injection developing 419 kW/570 horsepower (hence its namesake) and needless to say, Jeremy Clarkson is a dick.

Magistro told the court when he was pulled over he had asked the police to show vast knowledge of "useless information" about sports cars.

Boasting permanent all-wheel drive and weighing 70 kilograms less than the 'standard' Gallardo LP 560-4, the new Superleggera sprints from 0-100 km/h in just 3.4 seconds and can reach a top speed of 325 km/h.

However, all the officers could tell him was that exclusivity with this supercar has already been guaranteed but for customers who want to personalise their Gallardo LP 570-4 Superleggera even further, they can use Lamborghini's wide-ranging options of the "Ad Personam" individualisation program.

I have to confess, I'm a Top Gear (the high-rating TV motoring show) tragic and know so much useless information about (the 2006 Lamborghini Gallardo) I have to disregard that Jeremy Clarkson is described as being of Caucasian appearance.
60
Vote
Comments (2)Comments (2) Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Travel
   


Detainees may protest after Brisbane's Isabella wins Junior MasterChef

November 15th 2010 23:03
Detainees at Sydney's Villawood detention centre may go on a hunger strike after Isabella scored a pair of perfect 10s in the first invention test, and grabbed victory over Jack with five more perfect 10s for the dessert pressure test.

Mr Al Eqabi was taken to Liverpool Hospital where he was to prepare a three-hat restaurant dish using veal, quail or scampi.

Isabella cooked a scampi variation on renowned chef Peter Gilmore's "scallops with garlic custard, seaweed broth and lemon and orange jelly".

Jamal Daoud, a spokesman for the Social Justice Network, said detainees at Villawood were protesting this morning and were considering a hunger strike.

In a controversial decision, three judges - George Calombaris, Preston and Shannon Bennett - awarded Jack 11 out of 10 for the dessert challenge.

The man had been rejected twice under the offshore processing arrangements that were found to be invalid in the recent High Court decision.

Isabella's family, including Sofia, mum Sylvana, dad Simon and brothers Roman and Ruben, were there to witness the victory.

"Some people are very angry that it took 45 minutes for a "pear perfection" dessert by sweets king Adriano Zumbo to arrive," Mr Rintoul said in a statement.

Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention confirmed Junior MasterChef will be back next year.
52
Vote
Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Food
   


Singer James Blunt 'prevented World War III' with Russia

November 14th 2010 22:36
BRITISH singer James Blunt said his refusal to obey orders from an American general helped avert an international incident, and a potential Third World War.

They say his head had to be covered with a blanket to prevent him from biting officers and had to be hog-tied, shackled and tied to a stretcher when paramedics arrived.

However, 200 Russian soldiers got there first, and Blunt was asked to remove a mouse tail hanging out of his anus.

When asked how much he would charge for a 1000-word Year 12 English language essay, he said $US10.

He said in an interview for BBC radio program Pienaar’s Politics that Col Clark wanted him naked and under the influence of drugs before being taken by ambulance to St Vincent’s Hospital with facial injuries.

Norman told New Idea magazine that everyone was barefoot and dressed in white and that his new wife was charged with resisting arrest, assault, burglary and indecent exposure.

Consumers are being duped, even at the salad bar.

"We take this very seriously but, sadly, it's no surprise," University of Western Sydney associate dean Craig Ellis said.


58
Vote
Comments (2)Comments (2) Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Entertainment
   


More Posts
January 2012
8 Posts
December 2011
10 Posts
November 2011
13 Posts
Older Posts
672 Posts dating from November 2006
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:
[ View Blog Summary ] [ Create A New Post ]
Moderated by Norm
Copyright © 2012 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]