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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

[ February 2011 ] [ April 2011 ]

Consumption Malfunction - March 2011

More child alcoholics in New Zealand

March 28th 2011 00:22

A shot in the arm for the fighting industry, New Zealand children are taking up alcohol as a successful way of dealing with their stressful workloads and financial worries.

Alcohol - revered by governments for the buckets of money it brings in - in the hands of children could see the revenue rate for retailers remain high for many a long year.

Individuals with a finger in alcohol have praised the effects of advertising in luring children into their careers as wife-bashers and wives but have raised the alarm about those who oppose our way of life.

Muslim countries, many of which discourage the use of violence in a marriage, have raised the possibility that it's people who aren't stoned who are making a mockery of our christian brothers.

David Michael from Cuba says that it is time that ethanol drug lords, dealers and traffickers were stopped being called beverage manufacturers and licensees etc. and were started being called child molesters.

Alcohol, if enjoyed responsibly in the privacy of a bed or toilet, should be enjoyed in the company of imaginary friends or with a light snack of what you've already eaten earlier.

New Zealand kindergarten teacher dispenses with the little umbrella

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Money

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Advertising 101: Rape Sells

March 26th 2011 23:59

As a man, I know how hard it is get into women's pants and, like a household appliance, am programmed to require power.

If I am a toaster, and women slices of bread, then it is patently obvious that I am a one-off and likely to make women and girls breakfast.

Now, if we assume I buy clothes in shops, it don't neccessarily follow that I do so to get women out of their's and into bed.

It could be that I buy my new clothes in shops to get women partly out of their's and partly under a couch, deceased.

As a maniac, in a civil and equal society, I am programmed to cover myself in material of a certain colour to signal my intentions.

To keep children safe from paedophiles and other monsters, it follows that, we should programme them to look up to ladykillers.

Hard as it sounds, looking up women's pants is not as hard to do as it looks because we are legally bound to have pants that come in lesbians'.

Legally binding women in nylon rope, in your choice of colours, is what we are programmed for and we shouldn't buy anything else.

The reality is, programming people to perceive this way plays on the possibility that some people aren't oxygen-thiefs.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Fashion

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Yemen Has The Most Dangerous Franchise of Al-Qaeda In The Area

March 26th 2011 00:19

Yemen has been named as the place with the most dangerous franchise of Al-Qaeda in the area, according to United States' Colonel Sanders.

The world's biggest economy, Yemen is in close proximity to the world's biggest economy, and playground of the rich and fatuous, Somalia.

The United States, one of the poorest countries in the world and home to more Mexicans than Mexico, actually bought Alaska from Russia.

Mexico forfeited their right to the northernmost part of their country when they could not come to terms with America's expansionist weltanschauung.

Yemen, a key ally in the fight against not having access to barrels of oil, is facing the prospect of less gold medals than it got at the last Olympics.

Democracy, sweeping the Arab world faster than you can say what, is where the majority of rich people do whatever it takes to stay that way.

Colonel Sanders of the United States says that rival franchise Al-Qaeda is most likely to spring up in poorer communities where food is hard to find.

Colonel Sanders could steal ice from the Eskimoes.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Food

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Child Pornography Advocates Predict Japan's Nuclear Crisis Won't Impact Industry's Renaissance

March 24th 2011 22:35

The nuclear crisis in Japan, which threatens to have very little impact on the civilian population, will have little or no impact on the industry which touches the lives of neighbouring children so innocently.

Industry experts have joined forces to spread the news that the industry that is so completely forged underground is enjoying a renaissance that will not be aborted by a growth in childish hysteria.

There is no doubt that advocates for the much-maligned and misunderstood industry, while not all boy scouts, are leaders in the field of other areas and have wives and children to feed and loathe.

Spinach, which can cause cancer in some parts, is one field of vegetation enjoying the sudden fallout from the industry that has seen Japan experience no real danger leading many to question Belgium's brussel sprouts.

Proponets for other industries have only created unsustainable business models for their childish and harmful plans to harness consenting adults in little more than nothing that does little for leaders in the industry.

The nuclear crisis in Japan, little more than showing up on the radar, is a minor problem for anyone who thinks that nuclear energy is not a dangerous source of death for the planet as a hole.

"Please, sir. Can I have some more contaminated dairy?"

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Health

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Opposition's Hockey Slams Government On New Tax

March 8th 2011 23:57

Opposition heavyweight, and shitting member for Sydney's effluent North, has vowed to block the Government's new carbonara tax, saying he'll "eat his own arsehole before allowing it to pass."

The new tax, labelled by Laurie Oakes as likely to hit me where it hurts, will close Joe's Eating Hole on a permanent basis, and put Tony Abbott's saliva glands into full employment.

"I'd do anything to shut Joe's Eating Hole," Abbott dribbled, "I'd even give Laurie Oakes an open-mouthed kiss on the lower lips if it meant that I could get some relief," he said, stuffing his face.

The brains behind Joe's Eating Hole, a benign enough looking cancer of the rectum, said he will munch yesterday's lunch before he acknowledge that he is currying favour with women to secure their votes in the future.

"I really want to know what it's like to get into women's shoes, handbags, pants, wallets, heads, and voting slips," he said, mopping up the floor with bread, "and everyone knows women are a carbonara-based lifeform."

"Is the Pope Jewish?"

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Food

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NORTH AFRICAN DICTATOR SEEK SAME FOR FRIEND FOR MUTUAL BENEFIT SCHEMING

March 2nd 2011 23:35

North African dictator, middle age, seek North African or Middle Eastern dictator to pursue personal interest in full body massage and Turkish bathe naked greed fun times. No popular people movement or democrat sympathise need try to get into around ankle pants, please.

No pauper, time-wasters, fully clothe men or womens with no hairy lower lip need apply. Must be hung like cousin traitor camel from high tree and have plenty bulging pockets with hard cash money. Credit card not accept. Nivea-for-men daily face wash and campaign protect environment.

North African dictator describe by Ukraine crying face personal assistant as performing like many man of many young years with many son, who love to watch and the other one have big whip stick like loin of father and talk soft in ear. Run soft finger through my jumping goat.

Please hurry. Lonely in big palace with many sleepless night spent checking security television for death wish intruder try to sneak unexpect into bedroom with big woman bazooka and wearing skiing mask. Don't just barge in while not have chance to get into fancyman clothe.

Likes include, skiing mask fun-times, shooting off big mouth-gun, cucumber, long walk off short plank, accepting bribe from European businessman, help American interest in region, holding hand. No cripple please apply. Or break chicken leg like run over chicken in tank. No vegetable.

If this appeal to you, and you not ugly head Mubarak, then meet in public toilet for famous friend anonymous stranger encounter and bring cucumber for sandwich toilet eating, or face cut with big time Nivea-for-men side-of-hand scissor hand kick. Contact support@orble.com to arrange for no delay meet all need.

England career-criminal no complaint Tony Blair big sexy and cuddly massage-hand Libya leaderman go in for close and ask where toilet was not install yet

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Fashion

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