Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Blogs | Writers | Paid | My Orble | Login

Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

   


40
Vote
   


19
Vote
   


ISRAELI Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu publicly lectured US President Barack Obama on the shortcomings of his plan for Israeli-Palestinian peace talks during a tense Oval Office appearance that laid bare the strained relations between the leaders.

Kevin Bacon says "dirty" sex is the key to a successful marriage.

The Israeli leader then launched into a history lesson of the struggles of the Jewish people, which Obama watched from a nearby chair, his hand over his mouth.

He said: "I am a restless spirit with a restless mind. I have great moments of fulfilment with my wife and children, a walk in the woods with my dogs, but I'm still chasing it. It's a vagabond lifestyle. My suitcase is always sitting there."

Potential Republican presidential candidates have been to the fore in backing Mr Netanyahu's position.

"I'm with Henry Ford when it comes to the Jews. His relative silence on Muslims speaks volumes for his latent support of the interchangeabilty of the terms 'Catholic', 'Jew', 'Communist', now 'Muslim', and next 'Chinese'. It's all the same to me, African-American. If they're not Protestants, as Luther says, 'God protect me from forks.' But aside from the obvious differences between all these sub-species of humans, the least extinguishable is the Jew. It's their greasy faces. African-American, please! We don't want the Jews to wander too far. Just far enough to allow us to forget how much we hated the 'Jew' prior to the discovery of 'Communists'," one said.

The issue had been set to put the Victorian ALP at odds with Prime Minister Julia Gillard, who does not support gay marriage.

"As a practising Jew, I can't be any clearer on this. I. Can't. Eat. Bacon," said she, "But, as a practising Jew, I hope to get better very soon. He goes all right in the oven."


28
Vote
   


IN a week when Ita Buttrose became famous all over again, she learnt two things still matter - Elton John has sold more than 250 million records in a career spanning four decades and the singer-songwriter was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1994.

While several video segments showed him rehearsing, one showed an ageing and grey-bearded Elton John in a scruffy room, wrapped in a blanket and wearing a ski cap while watching videotapes of himself.

"The first thing I was able to smell was hospital lasagna. You wouldn't imagine it, but it smelled delicious," he said.

Leading al-Qaeda campaigner Peter Tatchell said, "Both Elton and I have sort of earned everything we've done in our careers and furthered our educations through our own drive and our own ambitions and we failed because a clip, to clamp the right fallopian tube to stop eggs reaching the uterus for fertilisation, had not been attached because Thatcher, the so-called "Iron Lady" who was in power from 1979 to 1990, wanted to try out her new false teeth on Kentucky Fried Chicken."

The pair have been refused bail, even though he was brought up in the lap of luxury.

"I don't think it looks anything like that at all," he told reporters in Canberra on Monday.

But he added: "The one thing I didn't lose sleep over was the possibility of taking Elton John out. And I think that anyone who would question that the singer-songwriter of more than 250 million records in a career spanning four decades -- didn't deserve what he got needs to have their bowels ripped out by dingoes, unable to stand".

And today, apparently, Donald Trump is that man.

He was also wearing a red and white bicycle helmet.

He was last seen wearing a cut to his upper lip, stab wounds to his hands and white sneakers.


19
Vote
   


   


28
Vote
   


More Posts
8 Posts
10 Posts
13 Posts
672 Posts dating from November 2006
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:
Moderated by Norm
Copyright © 2012 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]