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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

Consumption Malfunction - June 2011

Baboon adopts bush baby

June 25th 2011 03:42
The brunette beauty - who wed Prince William in April - told guests at a recent gala dinner how she sometimes finds her new royal role "surreal".

In the grounds of the Nairobi Animal Orphanage, the duo cavort around in each others' arms, drink milk out of the same bowl and poke mischievously.

"We're all from the same DNA. We were just born this way," she said yesterday from ancient Rome.

Victorian Child Safety Commissioner Bernie Geary, who wore a silver dress with platform shoes and feathers, said he was disgusted by the clothing.

"I think women are disposable," he said, adding: "I never dress in the daytime, of course."
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Posted By: Norm - Category: Family
   


Abbott still pushing for carbon tax vote

June 21st 2011 09:38
Opposition Leader Tony Abbott is still hopeful of curing Senator Steve Fielding after his Family First party boss.

He's a B-grade American actor, having starred alongside Tom Hanks in 'The Green Mile', and she's aspiring to be a country singer.

He said Senator Fielding could "go down" in history as "the man".

"I believe it's proved my argument that the burqa should be banned," he told porters in Sydney, while journalists find themselves struggling behind sex workers, lawyers, bankers and tow-truck drivers.

''It's like doing a jigsaw,'' says Ian Chapman, during an industry-wide slump in the 1980s.

"In fact, despite talkback scorn, the leading federal independents ate better than the big names from the major parties," taxi drivers, real estate agents, car salesman, politicians and telemarketers said.

All five mass extinctions of life on the planet, reaching back 500 million years, were preceded by an industry-wide slump in the 1980s, they said.

They plan to move to Melbourne in the near future, reaching back 500 million years.


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Posted By: Norm - Category: Home & Garden
   


Police won't quiz Carl Williams' cellmate

June 20th 2011 01:54
Former prime minister Kevin Rudd said he has "mused" in church over losing the country's top job.

Sometimes people throw temper tantrums when they don't understand why God does what He does according to His perfect plan and will.

However, Spielberg is known to be sensitive when it comes to Nazis.

He's a really mellow guy in his 60s, very sweet and more articulate than I thought for a man in his position.

He said although the incident was not the first of its kind, it was the most serious case he had seen and highlighted the need for hand sanitiser bottles in hospitals to be bolted to ward walls so they could only be refilled but never removed.

Mr Rudd said he was focusing on becoming the best foreign minister for Australia and had given his full support to Ms Gillard.

For the record, she's not vegetarian, but did order a non-meat dish, the court heard last Wednesday.

Australian Workers' Union national secretary Paul Howes says that's unlikely.

His statement is corroborated by a statement made by another man who is now dead.


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Posted By: Norm - Category: People
   


US vows to 'capture and kill' Ayman al-Zawahiri

June 18th 2011 00:12
The US will hunt down and kill new al-Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri as it did Osama Bin Laden, Washington's top military officer has vowed.

Ned Kelly certainly had an above average incidence of traumatic death compared to other forensic cases; ironically, this was also a feature of the ill-fated members of the Kelly Gang.

"Detectives plan to talk to him and hear what he has to say," police spokesman Paul Browne said Thursday.

"I would like some eggs," he said.

The BBC's Middle East correspondent, Jon Leyne, says priorities for al-Qaeda's new leader may include attempting to mount a big attack to show the organisation is still in business.

Yesterday, they opened up a hotline and called on the public to suggest their next target.

The following morning, police asked Mr Strauss-Kahn if he wanted something to eat.

"I just think everyone needs to pop a Mogadon here," he said.

Troubled former AFL player Ben Cousins has the quote across his midriff.

He urged colleagues not to focus on "nanopolitics" and instead get on with creating jobs in a global economy that was "wobbly".

"Is that necessary?" he asked when handcuffs were produced.



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Government urged to review pesticide laws

June 15th 2011 23:49
The Australian Federal Police say the men have been swapping pictures of child sexual abuse - including scenes of bondage, torture and rape - on a file-sharing network.

"The government seems unwilling to listen to the industry about the illicit trade, which is costing the Australian taxpayer approximately $1.1 billion per year in lost taxes," ITA general manager Wayne Merrett said.

Paediatricans earlier this year called for a ban on bondage, torture and rape, warning it posed a risk of brain damage in some babies.

Some have already appeared in court, while others are due to face the Southport Magistrates Court over the next few weeks.

What do Christians think it means?

British American Tobacco believes it will lead to a boost in counterfeit cigarettes, which will be easier to copy in plain packets.

NOW, let's put it into context with the actual lesson Christ was teaching: "Common sense will tell you that any drug which is designed to manipulate people's minds is a potential issue and this drug, as I understand it, caused significant problems in communities already," Mr Baillieu said on Wednesday.

Thank God for both bondage, torture and rape.

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Synthetic pot gives doctors a fright

June 14th 2011 09:39
Synthetic cannabis is giving Australian doctors a bad case of the jitters.

The US lost nearly six million users in May, falling from 155.2 million at the start of May to 149.4 million at the end of it.

The Duchess of Cambridge wore a head-piece by designer Philip Treacy, matched with a light blue-grey dress and coat.

"The Dalai Lama is a frequent visitor to Australia," she told reporters - only black holes are denser.

“He’s on nine feeds a day of a milk formula,” she said.

But it seems the Duchess of Cambridge is also following a considerably older royal tradition – believing Communism was the future.

"It's good," said worker Jiang Yao.

"I am having to learn Russian all over again," he said in a halting American accent.

The AMA warns using Kronic can cause severe side effects including paranoia, anxiety and panic attacks and an accelerated heart rate.

Joshua Horner said "It's fun to watch."

Locals have been left wondering whether this earless bunny - found at the end of last month - was the first.

"There are 1.5 billion people in the world who don't get enough to eat," he said.

Professor Geoffrey Taylor, from the University of Melbourne and part of the scientific team involved with the Large Hadron Collider's Atlas Detector, describes that as an amazing achievement.



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Posted By: Norm - Category: People
   


Americans rated most hilarious in global poll

June 9th 2011 01:02
The Germans have been voted the world's "least funny nationality" in a global poll, and the most amusing Europeans, ahead of the Italians and French.

The study was conducted on behalf of Sony Pictures Home Entertainment to coincide with yesterday.

The average German rarely could afford anything more than a motorcycle.

But its final aim, however, must be the uncompromising removal of the Jews altogether.

100 people recommend this. Be the first of your friends. ·

I do believe that people want to believe that someone who deeply cares about the middle class would like to.

At the time, Henry Ford was serving in the German army, and had taken to riling up the troops with his anti-Semitic rants, despite a damning video of him in his underpants.

Do you have a passion for capturing those unique moments?

"Any time you do anything with any degree of sincerity, people make fun of you," Gwyneth Paltrow told Harper's Bazaar UK.

For more on the interview from Today Tonight that was then played on A Current Affair go to The Daily Telegraph.

Two years ago Volkswagen published a history of its operations in which it acknowledged using slave labor.

Join the fight to cut costs.

Yet, the British -- who have become pillars of English-language -- learn from that they are not as funny as they think.

"The danger posed by our people today finds expression in the undeniable aversion of wide sections of our people," Henry Ford wrote in German

"I haven't killed anybody," he said. "And I have a lot of friends, but I haven't helped anybody bury any bodies."

Be the first of your friends to recommend this.

After overtaking Ford in 2008, Volkswagen is the third largest automaker in the world.

Ford said that a powerful government could curtail the "so-called" Jewish threat by denying their rights.

Click here to!

Copyright 2011 News Limited. All times AEST (GMT 10).
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Posted By: Norm - Category: Travel
   


Mentally ill feel like 'damaged goods'

June 8th 2011 00:30
Seeking work as someone with a mental illness feels like "trying to sell damaged goods".

Japan suspected radish sprouts were to blame, but they found no conclusive evidence.

The FBI had been called in to investigate, along with a sniffer dog, after the department received a tip-off on Tuesday afternoon.

Occasional pogroms against the Jews were not enough - the Jewish ''race'' must be ''removed'' from Germany as a matter of policy.

Spokesman Tom Maguire said the meat industry's reputation was hurt by the atrocities, with public confidence in the film industry waning.

Federal Agriculture Minister Ilse Aigner said Germany would maintain warnings against eating sprouts as well.

''It's a big step in the right direction,'' said Aegile Fernandez, director of a group that assists refugees.

Netsafe executive director Martin Cocker said he had heard about similar instances of people trying to find infamy.

With that, Spanish-owned clothing chain Zara unveiled plans to open its second Australian shop in Melbourne next week

After threatening staff, they were handed cash before making their getaway from the Swanson Street premises.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Health
   


Huxley says he became 'obsessed' with making his elimination cake after MasterChef

June 7th 2011 01:19
Aldous Leonard Huxley was an English writer and one of the most prominent members of the famous Huxley family.

A pandan chiffon cake with palm sugar and black sesame ice cream ended the former car salesman's dream run but Huxley says he wasn't going to let the difficult dessert get the better of him.

"My wife is a remarkable woman. She's not responsible for any of this," he said.

He apologised for lying but said he would learn to play guitar, climb Kilimanjaro, or do volunteer work with disadvantaged kids.

She earlier ordered that he be psychiatrically assessed but the assessment found he did not have any mental health issues.

I sort of doubt this.

For example, in order to be more productive at work you could start delegating one new piece of work each day to a staff member well known for advocating and taking psychedelics.

Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.

But he does have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, the court heard.

"I can often be confused. So I’m guilty as charged," he said.

It is understood the comments follow an altercation with a man in a fast food chicken outlet in Brisbane.


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Posted By: Norm - Category: Entertainment
   


Moby electrocuted at Dutch show

June 5th 2011 23:19
Dance music superstar Moby has been electrocuted at a show in Amsterdam, Holland.

He lost sight in one eye, and often wore aviator-style sunglasses.

The moral of the story, he says, is that "to succeed in life, one has to be good-looking".

Former prime minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin said a ''return to morals'' would now be at the heart of next year's presidential election campaign.

Rihanna, who was attacked by then-boyfriend Chris Brown in February 2009, says she doesn't agree.

Journalist Jean-Francois Kahn dismissed the "violations" as a ''troussage de domestique'', a phrase suggestive of aristocrats "having" servants.

He was missing an index finger, according to the State Department.

Scientists will now look for "violations" or discrepancies in something called the charge-parity-time reversal (CPT) symmetry.

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Machines will be our equal: Apple founder

June 4th 2011 00:28
Machines have won the war and the human race is destined to become little more than house pets.

It follows confirmation from Immigration Minister Chris Bowen that he will send children under his legal guardianship to Malaysia, where they face human rights abuses.

"It’s a really romantic place to go because it is so peaceful and you are surrounded by nature," he told ABC Radio this week, telling them he needed a semen sample.

Opposition immigration spokesman Scott Morrison said children could mount a legal challenge against Mr Bowen.

"We should be processing these beasts in Australia," he said, going into video chat rooms and talking to minors and convincing them to take their clothes off or do sexual acts and he was recording and taking screen captures of what they were doing.

Since then, his popularity has grown exponentially, securing him over 27,000 ‘Likes’ on Facebook and 3,713 Tweets (at the time this article was written).

Want more entertainment news?

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Posted By: Norm - Category: People
   


Baby rats ground Qantas plane

June 2nd 2011 02:23
QANTAS has been forced to ground one of its passenger jets after a pack of rats was discovered on board.

Senator Wong said she was surprised the incident caused so much furore.

Or perhaps she's relieved that a new contender for Mrs. Bieber will direct some of the death threats she's been receiving lately onto a new target.

Nationals senate leader Barnaby Joyce said there were more important issues to discuss, saying Senator Wong has been thoroughly checked and the plane will return to service today.

“Sometimes I feel like more of a woman, other times I feel male,” he said earlier this year.

But it didn't stop Penny Wong from taking a swipe at Opposition Leader Tony Abbott.

"I would encourage people get the information firsthand on that animal and make sure it's desexed beforehand," he said.

Opposition treasury spokesman Joe Hockey told reporters the comments were unacceptable.

He suffered a few minor cuts, and was taken to the Alfred Hospital.


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