TV Actors Get Behind Convicted Con-Artist Dennis Furguson
October 3rd 2009 01:51
The brightest stars of Australian television, including Larry Emdur and John Waters, have banded together to help find Dennis Ferguson, who Bill Henson described as a living-legend, suitable accommodation.
In a special edition, to be screened next week, of Packed to the Rafters, Seven's new hit family drama, the salivating kiddy-pincher will be welcomed into the homes of smut-fearing Australians everywhere.
"Viewers can expect the pitter-patter of little feet on Seven, very soon," a typically jubilant Kylie Gillies told drooling home-owners. "Followed by the noise a bed makes when it's being bounced on by a 60 year-old man and his love-child."
Ferguson, one of the premier performance artists of our time, says his new role on Seven's hit family drama, is "one of greatest opportunities of my long and successful career in the business," interpreters said.
"To think that I'll be going into Australian homes right around the country has me licking my lips," Ferguson said, sniffing a nappy. "It's going to open a lot of doors for me. Hopefully they'll have little bunny rabbits on them."
Australia's greatest ever rock-band, The Wiggles are said to be disappointed that Ferguson, who got his start with Gary Glitter, chose to ignore their attempts to lure him into a coloured skivvy and out of retirement.
"I'm getting the old band back together," the one-time frontman for Dennis Ferguson and the Gay Lover told nuns at the orphanage. "Where I'm going I won't be needing a skivvy," he said, reminiscing about their 1987 tour of the country. "Brisbane."
In a special edition, to be screened next week, of Packed to the Rafters, Seven's new hit family drama, the salivating kiddy-pincher will be welcomed into the homes of smut-fearing Australians everywhere.
"Viewers can expect the pitter-patter of little feet on Seven, very soon," a typically jubilant Kylie Gillies told drooling home-owners. "Followed by the noise a bed makes when it's being bounced on by a 60 year-old man and his love-child."
Ferguson, one of the premier performance artists of our time, says his new role on Seven's hit family drama, is "one of greatest opportunities of my long and successful career in the business," interpreters said.
"To think that I'll be going into Australian homes right around the country has me licking my lips," Ferguson said, sniffing a nappy. "It's going to open a lot of doors for me. Hopefully they'll have little bunny rabbits on them."
Australia's greatest ever rock-band, The Wiggles are said to be disappointed that Ferguson, who got his start with Gary Glitter, chose to ignore their attempts to lure him into a coloured skivvy and out of retirement.
"I'm getting the old band back together," the one-time frontman for Dennis Ferguson and the Gay Lover told nuns at the orphanage. "Where I'm going I won't be needing a skivvy," he said, reminiscing about their 1987 tour of the country. "Brisbane."
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Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
The man can seriously move. If pushed.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
graphic, im sure Roman Polanski would not approve . . . i mean theres no mention of drugging
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Polanski would be disappointed. He thought The Wiggles were only interested in him.
Comment by RubySoho
Music Zone
Thought Zone
Again with the fucking! Everyone wants to fuck young girls!
(But only talented directors should be allowed to get away with it).
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power