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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Dinner-dishing whore, kitchen-bound prostitute, ghost-writer for Al Gore, closet Christian, uterus on legs, terrorist pilot, eulogist for the dearly deported, Germaine Greer has contracted AIDS after being at the centre of a gang-bang of left-leaning nut-jobs.

"I was the first person to get the disease," she explained, as she flailed the decaying carcass of notional hero, Steve Irwin.

"Mother Teresa told me in a dream to infect the world with joy," she said, using a sting-ray's barb for a toothpick.

"I'm afraid the best I could do was spread disease," the Amazonian veteran of numerous beneficient government funds said, eyeing off her African victims.

The disease, not in the Bible, should be. It's just that good at killing the poor and ignorant.

God, it's a testament to your greatness.

"It's a ripper!" Bible-pashers told themselves as the world, spinning on its axis, went about its grinning.

"Crikey, if God is love then I'm a monkey's uncle," Greer preached, picking fleas from her avuncularly shaped testicles, as she prepared a service for her congregation.

God, only humans form families.



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The USA, perhaps the greatest country in the world, probably the greatest country on earth, easily the greatest country in history, internet provider, cradler of civilization, and timeless monolith, is the greatest place I've ever read about.

It has rolling hills, not rolling heads, skies of blue, democracy in abundance. In fact the taps run red with the blood of patriots and defenders of freedom who dried tomatoes for the good of everyone else.

The land is the home of educated and it also has immigrants who floundered the land in 1776 when they stumbled out of their boat. By chance, they were English-Spanish. Colon cancer was rife at the time.

The native Indians, eating curry and wearing funny hats, gladly accept the customs of the Mexicans who gladly gave over California in 10 BC. At the time, President Ronald Reagan was still riding his grandmother's hearse.

If you should ever, and you only will if you have a natural resource they covet, cross the US of A be sure to go nicely. They hate to use the big stick but live only for the love of life. You're not yellow, are you?

The USA: Go there, girlfriends! Before it comes to you.
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Monsters move in on Neighbours

May 4th 2008 00:37
Channel No. Ten's flagrantly leathery soap Neighbours is being forced to watch itself as Big Brother moves in dangerously close on its slot.

"No one else is watching, and we've run out of ideas," said perennial pansies getting out of bed incredulously eerily to shoot.

Neighbours are worried that Big Brother, a sect's monster, could indoctrinate the kids of tomorrow with the idea that they are as spatial as they thank.

Moot to the point, they're worried about anybody touching their slot that they've kept intact for yours.

"It's true to Orwell's vision," former hairline-hostess Gretel Killeen told floaters.

"He needed spectacles. I need glasses." she dribbled as she sank yet another shout.

We should all be hardened by our unthanking youths.
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Medea besplattered boggling giant Norm has told his loyal subjects to avenge his tarnished reputation after critics labelled him as Judge Judy and Executioner.

"You can't polish a turd," the ethnic-lenser said as he put down his spectacles


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