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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Transmen across Mother Earth are falling pregnant thanks to the latest craze that is weeping the floor: tears.

"Women have been stealing our jobs for years," one heavily fertile transman told his hairdresser.

Transmanians say they feel incredible to be able to finally deliver something that isn't a crying sham out their passages.

"Babies grow faster in the bowel," one screamed in pains that proved to be a false Islam.

"I was only shitting," the Transman wrote on the bowl.

The trend that has made women obsolete is helping men get in touch with their feminine asides.

"I always wanted a Ute," one transman said as he drove off to a day of labour.






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The King has gone underground

The 'funny-man', caked in around about three feet of make-up, was unable to comment on the affair that had him in a roundabout of stitches.

"It's no laughing matter to be split in two," the slightly paranoid schizophrenic told secret agents disguised as bus-drivers.

The affair has set virtual tongues wanking.

"All I'll say is that when Hollywood writers and Hollywood producers put a make-up on you can see they're prostitutes." wrote one blogger trying to harness their pitiful skills for some nonsense.

The Cosmetics King refused to go on the record, but sources close to him have told us: "He's more of a Queen."

Watch this space.

































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