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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Civil rights leader, Bill Cosby has shocked the world by escaping a jail sentence during his lifetime, not being a good basketballer and living into old age.

"Hey, hey, hey!" he told his overseer as he picked up the bail for the release of his incarcerated and very christian brothers.

"I'm going to pick up the bail," the cotton-picking Negro sang as he put pun to paper to sign copies of his latest book.

'Crime and Punishment', the latest novel from the hind of Cosby, charts the meteoric arse of Oprah Winfrey as she snuggles to kill Jerry Springer.

Jerry, a neo-conman, is caught unawares that the woman he's boarding with is plotting to give it to him when he's not looking in the camera.

"I'll be very surprised if I get the axe," he told censors as Cosby prepared to talk turkey about his numerous affairs outside of marriage.

A focal campaigner for the Nuclear family, Cosby is still amazed that nobody has dropped the bomb, until now.

"I'm going to drop a bomb on you," he wrote in the cover of Tom Cruise's copy as he jumped on a ship headed for the promised land.

"The empirical evidence points to evil being a human construction, not unlike a city," he continued as black readers were gummed down in their homes.

"Best Wishes, Bill," he finished.

Heavens above, America knows how to handle freedom-fighters.

Kill them, kill them all.



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Spanking from in front of his kitchen sink, and transfixed by his rancid reflux, the bogging heftyweight told his innumerable persecutors that everybody is out to get me.

"That hardly anybody has even heard of him doesn't seem to worry him," an unundied man said sifting through Norm's rubbish.

Unable or unwilling to be plagiarised away from his kitchen sick, Norm remains adamant that he is neither in laugh with himself or suffering failings of persecution.

"These things are real," Norm said of a troop of avenging pink elephants at his door.

The saga is believed to stem from his inability to accept his own flailings.

Norm remains cooped up with his pen as this goes to print.
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