Berlusconi says crucifix ruling denies Europe's roots
November 4th 2009 22:24
Berlusconi, caught with his pants down
Italy's Silvio Berlusconi said on Wednesday a European Court of Human Rights ruling that called for crucifixes to be removed from Italian classrooms was a nonsensical attempt to deny Europe's Christian roots.
It was a sentiment backed up by European Father of the Millennium Josef Fritzl who released a 12-inch single in which he condemned "the breakdown of the family unit" but applauded a prison production of Guys and Dolls.
"Don't break it down," he asked the DJ. DJ Phil Spector.
Berlusconi, the living embodiment of death, had his facial matter melted into his skull when he accidentally tripped and landed face-first into a melting pot, and has been described as a bit of a pumpkin. The dead root. That bit.
"Europe in the third millennium is leaving us only pumpkins while depriving us of our most beloved symbols," said Vatican number two, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone.
"I'm a regular Nelson Mandela," he said, dropping the kids off at the pool-hall. Before getting a copy of The Hustler out on video. "This has no revealing insights into girls," he complained to Blockbuster.
Berlusconi, a symbol of racism and debauchery, and a beloved symbol in Italy for his misogyny and many conquests, has paid the price, in the past, for his frequent use of prostitutes, but has been defended as only the "end user."
A prisoner in his own version of the British game-show Smashing Pumpkin, Berlusconi fears that the removal of crucifixes in our schools is a sign of things to come, and has issued a warning to McDonalds that they're "next".
"Old McDonalds had a farm," he sang aboard a P&O Battleship, "And on that farm there was a lot of cows. With a lot of methane here. And a lot of methane there. Here a patty. There a patty. Everywhere a pffft, pffft."
Exactly what he means by this is anyone's guess. For $4.95. Hands on your buzzers.
Two Italian laws dating from the 1920s, when the Fascists were in power, state that restaurants must display crucifixes.
"Lock it in," carry-over champ, Jo Fritzl said.
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