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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

British man who fathered nine children with two daughters jailed

November 25th 2008 23:16
Jailed for life, A MAN, who fathered nine children with his two daughters, whom he subjected to decades of rape, has been subjected to decades of rape.

"It was just awful. To see my own daughters treated like that. What made it worse was it was me. I don't think I'll ever be the same," the man, a penis and testicles hanging about, said.

"What victims of rape don't seem to understand is the trauma that the perpertartor suffers at the hands, mouth, vagina and anus of their victims," an advocate for men's issues said.

"I've spoken to this gentleman at great length. I wasn't going to get too close. He had a very amourous look in his pants. The years of abuse were a cry for help," she maintains.

"The man's daughters still don't know a good thing when they see it. It's very Freudian to sleep with your daughters. At least he doesn't believe in abortion," she went on.

"I don't believe in abortion. It's a bit like evolution. I don't believe in that either. Hell, I don't even believe in computers. At least I believe in repenting on my deathbed," the father said.

"I can say that I believe in honesty. I've always maintained that a man is a filthy animal. I was only doing what every father wants to do. It's only natural," the trauma-victim said.

The man, facing a lifetime in jail, can look forward to being on the good end of rape for many years to come at the hands and erection of some rather large gentleman called Boris.

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5 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by NoaIzumi

November 25th 2008 23:38
What he did was bad enough, but hearing him try to justify it makes you really want to go Spanish Inquisition on him.

Comment by RubySoho

November 26th 2008 00:08
I was only doing what every father wants to do.

Ouch! I had a friend once who said he was too afraid to have children. He said he knew that if he had a daughter he would probably "want to lick her all over". On one hand I was impressed by his honesty. On the other...

Comment by Norm

November 26th 2008 11:50
Noalzumi, and to think that this all took place in a civilized society. Scratch that. People are more primitive than we care to acknowledge, if you ask me. Don't ask me.

Rube, is there anything you can imagine a person doing that they couldn't do? I tell you what, there's more to the family unit than our post-war sanctimony and sterility would have us believe. Not that I believe in anything. Other than computers.


Comment by Morgan Bell

November 26th 2008 14:00
"I don't believe in abortion. It's a bit like evolution. I don't believe in that either. Hell, I don't even believe in computers. At least I believe in repenting on my deathbed," the father said.

i wonder if Boris believes in repenting?

man-on-man doodling has never resulted in abortion, well at least that i know of . . . Boris may not even have to repent

Comment by Norm

November 26th 2008 22:01
Boris is glad to hear that. In prison, a man can quickly become a woman. It's all about perception. And function. Not to mention feng-shui. Boris would need a pretty long death bed to make it up there. The man never changes the sheets. His wife does all the domestic chores. No wonder she feels so unappreciated.
Leonard Cohen says: Repent, repent.

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