Chimp's attack blamed on confused relationship
February 21st 2009 02:07
TRAVIS the chimpanzee's relationship with his owner was closer than those of some married couples.
"He was like my ex-husband. Only less hairy and less abusive," the chimp's owner confided to the animal's faceless victim.
"We did everything together. He liked reverse cowgirl but I like it on top," she explained, sipping champagne from a flute.
"He always knew just what to do. That bitch had just sprayed herself on my door. A clear sign of intent," she confessed.
"At least I won't have to pick curly black hairs out of my teeth, any more," she euologised at the chimp's wake.
"I might even write a book. Or even a blog. I've heard they're two entirely different things," she wrote in a deleted commentary on this site.
"They say the chimp is our closest relative. We'll it doesn't get much closer than intercourse," she said, playing with her ring.
"I suppose that's how we differed from most marriages. He always did exactly what I told him to do," she boasted.
"People will say that it's my fault. I just don't see how. He plucked the eyes from my head," she told a light-fitting.
"In truth, it was a confused relationship. It's like we were two different species. I suppose that's the nature of a marriage," she said.
"He was like my ex-husband. Only less hairy and less abusive," the chimp's owner confided to the animal's faceless victim.
"We did everything together. He liked reverse cowgirl but I like it on top," she explained, sipping champagne from a flute.
"He always knew just what to do. That bitch had just sprayed herself on my door. A clear sign of intent," she confessed.
"At least I won't have to pick curly black hairs out of my teeth, any more," she euologised at the chimp's wake.
"I might even write a book. Or even a blog. I've heard they're two entirely different things," she wrote in a deleted commentary on this site.
"They say the chimp is our closest relative. We'll it doesn't get much closer than intercourse," she said, playing with her ring.
"I suppose that's how we differed from most marriages. He always did exactly what I told him to do," she boasted.
"People will say that it's my fault. I just don't see how. He plucked the eyes from my head," she told a light-fitting.
"In truth, it was a confused relationship. It's like we were two different species. I suppose that's the nature of a marriage," she said.
| 61 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Chris, shocking, really.
Morgy, now that I'm getting hairier and nudging the 90kg mark, you'd better tell your girls to watch their backs.