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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

Coconut-carrying octopus stuns scientists

December 16th 2009 00:46
I AM often asked to talk at schools and almost always ask students to potty-train their pigs in response to Keith Windschuttle, the fist-sized veined octopus, who this week called for lower life forms, I guess you could say, to steal all half-caste children.

Smeared with faeces and urine to attract the pigs, Windschuttle says he can carry coconut shells to use as armour -- the first case of a racist crime we generally associate with the higher vertebrates: humans, monkeys, a few birds, a mongrel dog on a waterski and cannabis-affected men.

He was seen leaving the area carrying coconut shells over large distances after buying a couple of bottles of Coke - which is why after the shooting he left a party armed with a kitchen knife and, more cruel than could ever be imagined, believes that one day aliens will rule the earth.

As I've demonstrated before, I won my first ever talent show aged 13 singing My Heart Will Go On because I desired to be transported in a dog-box, tossed on the back of a truck, or a small white car with yellow and black number plates; and thought one thing: it was simply a freak example of a man with distinctive square-rimmed glasses.


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