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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

Channel Nine stars' salaries to be slashed

September 4th 2009 00:22
KERRI-ANNE Kennerley will be the first of Channel 9's stars to front the network's razor gang as it tries to claw back $20 million.

A chunk of debris from a portion of a European rocket – the Ariane 5, launched more than three years ago – is threatening to pass dangerously close by the station.

KERRI-ANNE's mother, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, was reportedly drinking coffee and looking out the window.

It was dubbed "Hot Coffee" after the women's invitation to come inside for a "cup of coffee".

Despite the overwhelmingly positive response, she has admitted that seeing her small roll of flesh made her cringe.

Fred DeNegri of Ormond Beach told CNN television that he was taken aback by the "disgusting" blob he was not expecting in his drink.

He died minutes later while still in handcuffs.

"What we're seeing right now are the signs of cannibalism," said Alan McConnachie of the Herzberg Institute of Astrophysics in Victoria, British Columbia.

He thinks he is God's gift to men and he can do anything he wants.

But during a recent interview with shock jock Howard Stern, Inglourious Basterds director Tarantino revealed he’d smoked hash with Pitt when he traveled to France to convince him to.

He then said: "He wants me to pick up boys when we are out and have a threesome", adding he did not want to do that.

He had "homicidal urges" and wanted to bash someone in the head with half a brick.

"Over 30 million male chicks meet their fate this way each year at this facility."

A review, to be released today and obtained exclusively by The Australian, marks the first time an Australian authority has recognised the possibility.





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4 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Morgan Bell

September 4th 2009 08:19
Pitt Pott

i mean pish posh

Comment by Norm

September 4th 2009 22:54
I wonder what Angelina's on.
I've heard it's about 20 million.

Comment by Morgan Bell

September 5th 2009 00:28
20 million points or ounces?

Comment by Norm

September 5th 2009 01:06

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