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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

Bert invigorated by Wicked's young cast

September 10th 2009 22:29
Veteran entertainer Bert Newton has no plans to bow out of showbiz anytime soon, saying his starring role in the musical Wicked is keeping him refreshed.

The 44-year-old attracted the attention of staff at a suburban service station where he appeared wobbly on his feet as he got out of his car.

"It was a very hard time for them. I don't know how they pulled themselves together," Newton said.

"I promised Jehovah that never again in my life would I pick up a gun," he says, addressing a crowd.

The comment sparked outrage from Jewish groups and others, prompting radio station 2DayFM to pull the plug on his show for the second time in as many months.

"I am so excited. It is just a dream come true," the former Miss Universe said.

Under the stage name "Josmar" he recorded compact discs, decorated with his beaming photograph, of Christian songs sung in his vibrato-heavy voice accompanied by electronic organ.

Internet chat rooms are rife with fans discussing how he might have carried out this trick.

Yesterday a professor warned of the dangers of alcohol poisoning.

It also produces body hair and a deep voice.

Police said that when they pulled the professor over, he reached into his car and produced a dead fish which he offered to the officers.

Around the world it has been seen by more than 20 million people, won a raft of awards and grossed nearly $1.6 billion.




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7 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Chris Champion

September 10th 2009 23:01
Did Bert really have an affair with Graeme Kennedy? Was Jack Dyer really his twin brother? Was Aunty Jack really his uncle? Did he really smack Norman Gunston with a wet towel?

Hey, wait a minute - are you really Norman Gunston?

Comment by Norm

September 10th 2009 23:10
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes!

I'll have what she's having.

No.

Life. Be in it.

Comment by Morgan Bell

September 12th 2009 16:04
wobbly

now why didnt i make that word of the day?

Comment by Norm

September 13th 2009 00:32

Comment by Morgan Bell

September 13th 2009 08:55

Comment by Norm

September 13th 2009 21:41
I thought no one was going to say anything.

Comment by Morgan Bell

September 14th 2009 04:02
that was so spousal of you

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