Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Entertainment Bitter - Consumption Malfunction

Medics report mass amputations in Haiti

January 18th 2010 00:28

French doctors treating about a dozen people turned up this morning to see a photograph of a bearded group of women , and are having to carry out a serial killer as part of a digitally enhanced song-and-dance number?

It's quite incredible that 50,000 people were killed on breakfast television , especially in the light of recent ideas about who should cut and paste hundreds of people whose limbs have been calling into question the headlines around the world and an inflatable guitar, Kidman killed in a song-and-dance number?

It's a far broader problem than just apparent personal turmoil in a career spanning more than just 17 kilometres , which proves children who die of divorce suffer from personal turmoil, and smashed into a tree at 140km/h in a long beard and a song-and-dance number?

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Entertainment, Poached, Bitter

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Monsters move in on Neighbours

May 4th 2008 00:37

Channel No. Ten's flagrantly leathery soap Neighbours is being forced to watch itself as Big Brother moves in dangerously close on its slot.

"No one else is watching, and we've run out of ideas," said perennial pansies getting out of bed incredulously eerily to shoot.

Neighbours are worried that Big Brother, a sect's monster, could indoctrinate the kids of tomorrow with the idea that they are as spatial as they thank.

Moot to the point, they're worried about anybody touching their slot that they've kept intact for yours.

"It's true to Orwell's vision," former hairline-hostess Gretel Killeen told floaters.

"He needed spectacles. I need glasses." she dribbled as she sank yet another shout.

We should all be hardened by our unthanking youths.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Entertainment, Baked, Bitter, Muddy

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Court orders teen who kicked goth to death to meet with Brian McFadden

March 27th 2008 23:47

The Goodrems witness a goth getting squashed

The soon to be Mr. Goodrem said that he is shocked and alarmed that a judge has made a ruling that will see him kicked to death by a music critic.

The ruling was handed down in the light of the slivery moon where McFadden looks ever so inviting to steel-caps.

"I have a personality where I jump at things," McFadden told the court when he saw a mouse scurry across the floor.

It was in part due to this and his duet with the soon to be Mrs. Goodrem that the judge handed out such a lenient penalty for manipulating money away from the vacuously clean.

The judge told McFadden that he had systematically massaged his image with a vaseline-camera "and for that we will all pay a heavy price."

McFadden is due to meet his massacre in the coming whacks.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Entertainment, Poached, Bitter, Rocky

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Mel Gibson Remakes Spielberg's Jaws: Jews

March 9th 2008 23:57

Jews now have a very definite feature

The surgical procedure, which lasted over three days, saw Gibson MD rewire the mandibles of the multi-globular award whining detractor, and blithering yidiot, Spielberg OBE.

The procedure captured on big brothish surveillance up-skirt cams is being edited by the many wings of the angels watching under the doctored Gibson.

"There's just so much footage," Gibson told podiatrists attending a conventional oven in the lobby.

The resulting Hollywood spectacular, spectacularly bypassing Hollywood waiters, will scare the bejesus out of every messiah.

"I'm going to make a fortune out of Jews," Gibson told nurses attending him.

"First thing I'm going to do is go out and buy a Yamaka," he said while sitting on a hog in the theatre.

Upon hearing of Jews, Gibson's father, Hutton scratched his fingers on the blackboard before being ushered away with some popcorn.

"There's only one way to find out if they really do bleed," he said while sharpening his scalp.