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Entertainment Grilled - Consumption Malfunction

Mariah Carey's burnt remains found

June 1st 2008 02:28

Granny award whining focalist Mariah Carey's charred body has been discovered by an obese fan.

"I found her in my fireplace," the fried chicken magnet told reparters.

It is understood the fan had earlier abducted Miss Carey from her electrolysister's house.

"I'd been listening to her latest hit single," the fanatic said, as he tucked into a breast.

"Torch my body, throw me on the fire," the fetching fanatic sang as police hoisted him to safety.

It's the first time Carey has gone charcoal.

Miss Carey's press secretary has hosed down the fireplace.

"There'll never be another like her," he mused.

Scientists are working hard to destroy her genetic material just to make sure.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Entertainment, Grilled, Sour, Corny

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Blank title angers filthy content

March 26th 2008 12:13

The filthy content of this post has lashed out violently at the title of this piece in a stunning burst of creativity by its haphazard author.

The content, who wished to be remain deeply discontented now that it's wintery, has refused to admit that.

When questioned by the author of the piece, the content simply went blank and urinated over an acclaimed author.

"I'm not an acclaimed author," the author of the content wrote in his own faeces, "But I wish I wasn't," he said eating a mudcake.

The title, alarmed that its passivity has been called into question, has remained steadfast in its public position that it should lead.

"My fellow Australians," the leader told its subjects, "I am the one with the big title here," he said while polishing his bedpost.

The saga is set to have tongues wagging school and hanging out in undesirable locations across the virtual world.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Entertainment, Grilled, Sweet, Muddy

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Mel Gibson Remakes Spielberg's Jaws: Jews

March 9th 2008 23:57

Jews now have a very definite feature

The surgical procedure, which lasted over three days, saw Gibson MD rewire the mandibles of the multi-globular award whining detractor, and blithering yidiot, Spielberg OBE.

The procedure captured on big brothish surveillance up-skirt cams is being edited by the many wings of the angels watching under the doctored Gibson.

"There's just so much footage," Gibson told podiatrists attending a conventional oven in the lobby.

The resulting Hollywood spectacular, spectacularly bypassing Hollywood waiters, will scare the bejesus out of every messiah.

"I'm going to make a fortune out of Jews," Gibson told nurses attending him.

"First thing I'm going to do is go out and buy a Yamaka," he said while sitting on a hog in the theatre.

Upon hearing of Jews, Gibson's father, Hutton scratched his fingers on the blackboard before being ushered away with some popcorn.

"There's only one way to find out if they really do bleed," he said while sharpening his scalp.