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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Monsters move in on Neighbours

May 4th 2008 00:37
Channel No. Ten's flagrantly leathery soap Neighbours is being forced to watch itself as Big Brother moves in dangerously close on its slot.

"No one else is watching, and we've run out of ideas," said perennial pansies getting out of bed incredulously eerily to shoot.

Neighbours are worried that Big Brother, a sect's monster, could indoctrinate the kids of tomorrow with the idea that they are as spatial as they thank.

Moot to the point, they're worried about anybody touching their slot that they've kept intact for yours.

"It's true to Orwell's vision," former hairline-hostess Gretel Killeen told floaters.

"He needed spectacles. I need glasses." she dribbled as she sank yet another shout.

We should all be hardened by our unthanking youths.
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Blank title angers filthy content

March 26th 2008 12:13
The filthy content of this post has lashed out violently at the title of this piece in a stunning burst of creativity by its haphazard author.

The content, who wished to be remain deeply discontented now that it's wintery, has refused to admit that.

When questioned by the author of the piece, the content simply went blank and urinated over an acclaimed author.

"I'm not an acclaimed author," the author of the content wrote in his own faeces, "But I wish I wasn't," he said eating a mudcake.

The title, alarmed that its passivity has been called into question, has remained steadfast in its public position that it should lead.

"My fellow Australians," the leader told its subjects, "I am the one with the big title here," he said while polishing his bedpost.

The saga is set to have tongues wagging school and hanging out in undesirable locations across the virtual world.


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