Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Family Poached - Consumption Malfunction

Bush Texas Wedding Spectacular

May 12th 2008 00:08

Held in the labyrinthial dungeons of the Whitehouse, US Presidenture George W. Bush married his daughter of twenty or so ears in a lavish musical conducted by the reanimated corpse of Nazi synthesizer Herbert Von Karajan.

"I was very happy to give away my daughter," Bush said under his breathmint.

"She's no oil painting. I couldn't give her away," he revealed, giving himself away.

His other daughter, no less of a thing unlike an oil painting than the other who's not one either, is up for auction on Ebay.

"The highest bid so far is $2.78, but I'm not going to give her away," Bush told bargain haunters.

Condoleeza Rice, clearly inflatulated with Georgey, heartbroken at losing the olive of her martini is still holding out hopelessly for another shot at the title.

"I'm not going to throw myself at him," Rice said as she threw herself over the hippy couple.

Marriage is a holy unction between a man and woe.

Vote

Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Norm - Category: Family, Poached, Sour, Nutty

Email this Post to a Friend

Norman Bates Holds Slide Night

March 13th 2008 02:44

Mum's the word

The convicted felon took bored guests through photographs of his travails throughout poor countries in an evening of showering and sandwiches.

The Vietnam veterinarian, a purple-heart transplant recipient, told committees and jurors, white and true, that his heart bleats for the innocent.

"I'm very happy to be able to to have you here," he told embezzlers and Iranian thieves on hand.

"I just wish my mother could have made it," he said while lying on his mother's dentures.

When asked why she wasn't able to make the evening, she told daddy-long legs: "I couldn't be stuffed."

Mrs. Bates told hooked addicts, whilst playing with her fly, that a mother's best friend is himself.

Vote

Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Norm - Category: Family, Poached, Sweet, Corny

Email this Post to a Friend

Sting ends chase for Pumpkin's dad

March 1st 2008 00:57

The Chinese Police is torture to dissidents

The former Police chief, Sting, has told told a Pumpkin's dad that he's never been so in love with someone who wasn't himself, after the vegetable's father vowed to weld him.

The vegetable's father, no less a vegetable than his progeny, when asked: "Will you take his hand in marriage?", could only say: "Let's not get mushy.", before slipping back into a coma.

The welding ceremony guests were entertained by a Chinese Police band.

They have told Sting that they can make him disappear in a magic trick that has David Copperfield angry.

"I'll make them disappear," Copperfield told Dickensian authors trapped in strait-jackets, "Then I'm going to saw their wives in half."

Chinese students have stood in front of a tank of water before turning to soup.