Emergency supplies of designer brands arrive in Georgia to poor reviews
August 12th 2008 23:39
Georgian fashion police are overworked
Fashion victims in Georgia are experiencing relief after receiving emergency aid from the West's leading labels, but for many it's too late.
"This outfit could feed my family for a year," said one ungrateful peasant, unpleasantly walking down the rat-walk (sewer pipe).
Designers were so horrified by refugees' plight that they donated last season's catalogue to a mixture of clapping and cheering, but it's so last season.
"We have to bring these people into the 21st century," leading designer Karl Lagerfeld told the huddling masses as they fled in a cloud of Obsession by Calvin Klein.
Russia, a shining example of capitalist shine, has expressed remorse that it's summery campaign of summary slaughter didn't go far enough.
"Tank-tops are in and dead people are out," Russian President Dimitri Medvedev was told by advisors, as he gentlemanly fingered a red button.
The Georgian fashion police, packing heat but powerless to stop Russia, have been apprehending refugees described by many as criminal.
"I'd describe their look as criminal, but we can't just ignore them," whispered supermodel Tyra Banks, laughing all the way to one.
Georgia's fashionable victims are flocking to the morgue to look for loved ones as the tanktops roll out of their flattered cities.
Amputation is the highest from of flattening.
"I was very attached to my arms," said the body of one victim, wearing a flannel shirt with cotton trousers and, to the disgust of many, a wooden coat.
Arms are out.
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