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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Recipe for Self-delusion

August 1st 2008 01:21
Pretend that you're making a difference in a big head. In a separate pun, cook off some mushy aggression. Take your opinions and beat off until tender. When the pun of big words smell, begin to slowly add the comments. Brown off until the whole thing sets a fight. Quickly strangle the chicken, making sure that it makes a loud noise. Set aside.

After a few days have pissed, put the whole lot in a pre-headed shovel and put on a low heat. Stammer. On a chopping block, deduce something from specious raisons. Chop infinitely. Get the cut feelings and pretend to be aggrieved. Mix, wailing at the top of your farce. Beat the whole thing into a deluded mass. Call someone a few names, obliquely. Cower behind the write-goods. Bash over the head with your big words. Stand.

Tickle out of the oven. In a large word, pretend to be good and kindly. Be an authority. Run for cover when you're found out. Cut with a blithering knife. Label the sauce on the serving pate. Spin the delusion to sound intellectual. Using big words, continuously. Dot with silent points. Sprinkle with errant forks. Add the opinions and serve cold. Take your spin and put in your mouth. Masticate. Swallow. Digest. Excrete. Repeat until deceased. Serves 6 billion.
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In a big head, cut off your noose to spit on your farce.
Flay in a steaming heap your opinions.
Pash your bible.
Wrap in a flag.
Preheat the slaves.
In a small mirror, have a lick at yourself.
Make sour your heir licks niece.
Comb your public heir for lace.
Smack crack.

Invade despotic notions with your farces.
Implement oily democracy.
Get the oil.
Add the opinions.
Spittle chips.
In a separate head, plant your ribbed ideals.
Take two straps back.
In a large prism facilty, house your slaves.
Hook on drugs and keep them cracking their hairs.

On a soppy box, stand.
Shout, pout and wiggle.
Straighten your tie.
When the word comes crashing down, run to the rack.
Balding.
Plug with arty facts.
In the preheaded slaves, place the mess.
Fly off the handle.
Spoil the starched cripples.

Waive the bible.
Place the preheaded slaves in your frying chair.
Cook until fried.
Stand.
Play to God.
Laugh your notion.
Serve on a bed of wowsers.
Drizzle with oil.
Good appetite!

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These ruminating mothers are safe from the Japanese Vealers

The Japanese Vealers have been met at the gate. Buy Australian Veal. Even after buying all our land, we still won the War. So there!

Holding up signs which read: "We are conducting cullinary tests", the Vealers were met by protesting mothers wearing lather jackets and slurping tea with their fluffy scorns, jammed.

Cows, responsible for Global Warming, are earmucked to be slaughtered in record numbers and their calves taken into State care, or summarily executed also.

"The only way to solve their embarrassing omissions is to stamp them and their offspring out, totally," legendary rugger Peter Garrett told his wailing martyr.

The Japanese are only too happy to help pout.

"It's a wink-wink situation," Garrett winked as he looked back at Molly Meldrum, who was sprouting a hat at the time.

Lather, of course.
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A university educated butcher and pillow of the community has put down his wife's cleavage after witnessing the wholesale laughter of animals in his neighbour's boudoir.

"They were laughing at their plight," the bloody butcher told patrons of the arts, "It made me rethink how much suffering I really cause


[ Click here to read more ]
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Michael Jackson Chucks Spears

November 24th 2007 00:29
Michael Jackson
The Spears-chucker(seated left)


A top American head-fucker has told a crowd of emotionally ingrown toe-nail clippings that Michael Jackson has been the "ass model" for popped princess Britney "Asparagus" Spears


[ Click here to read more ]
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