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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

In a big head, cut off your noose to spit on your farce.
Flay in a steaming heap your opinions.
Pash your bible.
Wrap in a flag.
Preheat the slaves.
In a small mirror, have a lick at yourself.
Make sour your heir licks niece.
Comb your public heir for lace.
Smack crack.

Invade despotic notions with your farces.
Implement oily democracy.
Get the oil.
Add the opinions.
Spittle chips.
In a separate head, plant your ribbed ideals.
Take two straps back.
In a large prism facilty, house your slaves.
Hook on drugs and keep them cracking their hairs.

On a soppy box, stand.
Shout, pout and wiggle.
Straighten your tie.
When the word comes crashing down, run to the rack.
Balding.
Plug with arty facts.
In the preheaded slaves, place the mess.
Fly off the handle.
Spoil the starched cripples.

Waive the bible.
Place the preheaded slaves in your frying chair.
Cook until fried.
Stand.
Play to God.
Laugh your notion.
Serve on a bed of wowsers.
Drizzle with oil.
Good appetite!

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These ruminating mothers are safe from the Japanese Vealers

The Japanese Vealers have been met at the gate. Buy Australian Veal. Even after buying all our land, we still won the War. So there!

Holding up signs which read: "We are conducting cullinary tests", the Vealers were met by protesting mothers wearing lather jackets and slurping tea with their fluffy scorns, jammed.

Cows, responsible for Global Warming, are earmucked to be slaughtered in record numbers and their calves taken into State care, or summarily executed also.

"The only way to solve their embarrassing omissions is to stamp them and their offspring out, totally," legendary rugger Peter Garrett told his wailing martyr.

The Japanese are only too happy to help pout.

"It's a wink-wink situation," Garrett winked as he looked back at Molly Meldrum, who was sprouting a hat at the time.

Lather, of course.
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