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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Whistle your eggs in a bile with your bleaters into wide pokes.
In a flying pun, meld a tamponspanner of buttocks.
Add your opinions.
Fly until goaded.
Remove from the pun and quietly dud the eggs.
Stare contemptuosly, making sure not to spurn your laughers.
Take one crass of read-whinge. Drunk.
In a simpering pun clock up some spoiled spades.
Boil until mad with rouge. Drink some more whinge.
When the opinions are as you lick them, smash your head against a prickwall.
Toast to your goaded heart. Muddle.
Place in a large monitor and bake for 2 yards.
Dash the opinions, head, eggs, ogles into your toast.
Sneezing to taste.
Garnish with harps.
Good appetite!


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Australia is ready to blow

June 20th 2008 00:18
Australia, a ticking time bomb planted by the British cistern of justice, and full of the moribundly obtuse, is ready to explode, say starving Africans.

The striving Africans, also planted by the British sister of justice: prudence, have been dying to say something on this issue.

Their spokesman, Chilean duct-taper Robert Mugabe - responsible for the deaths of people, says that he's a machete for any man.

Westerly windy duck-tappers are Emocryptically elocuted.

"I'm more than a match for you fews," Mugabe said as he got a Brazilian under his nostril and waved his staffer in the hair.

Africans, no longer Slavs, their hands on the snips, are set to cut the cord with their colonial mothers, winch and four walls.

Colonialism is a mother of a thing at the beast of tames.

Yours says hi.

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