European Father of the Year Sent as Envoy to Africa after Things Get Out Of Hand
November 6th 2008 22:04
Husband, European, and artful father Josef Fritzl (pictured in your head) is the new representative of Christian values in the Godless continent, the Dark One.
"I must say that the men worry me a bit. A lot of negroids over there. I think I'll definitely be throwing away the key," the right honourable said, packing his bags.
When questioned about the possibility of sorting out continental differences over a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Fritzl began to behave rather erotically.
"Everybody knows Africans always go Rock," the mastermind revealed. "It's not the best way. I hope I can make them see the error of their ways."
Earlier in the week, a father had his daughter beaten in a friendly game of Rock, as the Dark Continentals call it, before a huge crowd of locals and onlookers.
"I feel incredibly sorry for this man. I mean there's always a slim chance your daughter might have a Rock too. He just got lucky," the veteran opened up.
"Many believe you can't play with your daughter. I've dedicated my life to playing friendly games with mine. Hide the Sausage is her fave," Fritzl, polishing up on his Scissors, said.
"In Africa they've never even heard of Paper or Scissors, let alone Secret Dungeon, or Deadbolt. I'll have to show them what to do," the new envoy chortled.
"In the old days. My four fathers came over for a quiet game. Gun always beats Spear. Idiots!" the diplomatic patriarch stated, settling in, fist in hand.
"I must say that the men worry me a bit. A lot of negroids over there. I think I'll definitely be throwing away the key," the right honourable said, packing his bags.
When questioned about the possibility of sorting out continental differences over a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Fritzl began to behave rather erotically.
"Everybody knows Africans always go Rock," the mastermind revealed. "It's not the best way. I hope I can make them see the error of their ways."
Earlier in the week, a father had his daughter beaten in a friendly game of Rock, as the Dark Continentals call it, before a huge crowd of locals and onlookers.
"I feel incredibly sorry for this man. I mean there's always a slim chance your daughter might have a Rock too. He just got lucky," the veteran opened up.
"Many believe you can't play with your daughter. I've dedicated my life to playing friendly games with mine. Hide the Sausage is her fave," Fritzl, polishing up on his Scissors, said.
"In Africa they've never even heard of Paper or Scissors, let alone Secret Dungeon, or Deadbolt. I'll have to show them what to do," the new envoy chortled.
"In the old days. My four fathers came over for a quiet game. Gun always beats Spear. Idiots!" the diplomatic patriarch stated, settling in, fist in hand.
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Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Comment by Nomad
Awesome Food
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Cheers, big fella
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Rock on, nomad.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
We're all friends here, I hope
Comment by damian
Urban Telegraph
The Squirter McGee Diaries
Not even joe the plumber has plumbed the depths of depravity to this extent. It's simply... well to quote a classic movie (as well as Fritzl's daughter), "slimy, yet satisfying"
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
oh wow ive been used as a source . . . chookas luv!
i like how you have woven in the imperialistic-type comments . . . there was an underlying vibe that Christianity would be the lighting solution on the "dark continent", youve captured it well!
gold star for Norm!
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Morgy, whatever happens, I'll always love you. You're not even an enemy. Not that I'm aware of. I had to laugh that depravity is seen by some as a quality of people from certain continents only. As if these things don't reside in each and every one of us.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
yeah i agree . . . and i think youve done a good job showing up the notion as being as absurd as it really is!
hey you can use me as a source anytime: at least ill know youre still stalking me!
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
I bet I will need to source from you again too. But all you have to do to remind yourself that I'm stalking you is wave to the camera in your bedroom
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
wow, creepy . . . i like it!
we do need to save Europe from itself, but its harder because it is several countries whereas Africa is just one (ask Palin) . . . thankfully here in Australia we have a completely clean record, im pretty sure Ivan Milat and Martin Bryant were here on tourist visas from the sovereign nation of Africa!
turn those bloody lights out!
oops, where the bloody hell are ya?
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Is she single?
Nevermind.
Palin has nice legs. The face is alright too. Soft hair. The voice is like treacle. Her fashion sense is fab. She's everything and more. Not my type, though. Too many kids.
Hell is a four-letter word.
Cheersy weersy.