Girl, 3, shoots 2yo brother dead
May 30th 2009 01:47
A three-year-old girl accidentally shot dead her two-year-old brother after the pair found a loaded handgun in their home in California, police said.
"The victim received multiple shots to the arm and bottom," CSI's Gilbert Grissom said, "The victim could only be identified by the name on his undies," he said, "To the family of Ralph Lauren we pass on our condolences."
"The victim had defecated in his pants," Dr. Grissom said, "Which means that he was probably scared to death," he said, "Unfortunately, somebody may have told him that people who poo their pants will get in big trouble."
"This crime is one of the worst I've seen," Grissom said, "At least the victim was immunised before he got incurable bullet wounds," he said, "The parents were not going to play Russian roulette with their lives. The gun was fully loaded."
"The killer is probably about 30 inches tall," Grissom said, "That means we're looking for Gary Coleman, again," he said, "To the family of Gary Coleman we say, 'Hand yourself over to the authorities', or we'll have to find the little bastard."
"The killer is out there," Grissom said, "I mean, what kind of person would shoot a two-year old boy?" he asked, "Shaking vigorously leaves less forensic evidence," he said, "Clearly, the killer has the mental function of a three-year old."
California finds gay parents, who can't hide their weapons for shit, very dangerous around the home, particularly if the children were to accidentally find them blowing each other to kingdom come.
"The victim received multiple shots to the arm and bottom," CSI's Gilbert Grissom said, "The victim could only be identified by the name on his undies," he said, "To the family of Ralph Lauren we pass on our condolences."
"The victim had defecated in his pants," Dr. Grissom said, "Which means that he was probably scared to death," he said, "Unfortunately, somebody may have told him that people who poo their pants will get in big trouble."
"This crime is one of the worst I've seen," Grissom said, "At least the victim was immunised before he got incurable bullet wounds," he said, "The parents were not going to play Russian roulette with their lives. The gun was fully loaded."
"The killer is probably about 30 inches tall," Grissom said, "That means we're looking for Gary Coleman, again," he said, "To the family of Gary Coleman we say, 'Hand yourself over to the authorities', or we'll have to find the little bastard."
"The killer is out there," Grissom said, "I mean, what kind of person would shoot a two-year old boy?" he asked, "Shaking vigorously leaves less forensic evidence," he said, "Clearly, the killer has the mental function of a three-year old."
California finds gay parents, who can't hide their weapons for shit, very dangerous around the home, particularly if the children were to accidentally find them blowing each other to kingdom come.
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Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
so thats where he went
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
They don't make height-screen tvs.
Grissom cracks me up.
I'm very fragile.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power