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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Dinner-dishing whore, kitchen-bound prostitute, ghost-writer for Al Gore, closet Christian, uterus on legs, terrorist pilot, eulogist for the dearly deported, Germaine Greer has contracted AIDS after being at the centre of a gang-bang of left-leaning nut-jobs.

"I was the first person to get the disease," she explained, as she flailed the decaying carcass of notional hero, Steve Irwin.

"Mother Teresa told me in a dream to infect the world with joy," she said, using a sting-ray's barb for a toothpick.

"I'm afraid the best I could do was spread disease," the Amazonian veteran of numerous beneficient government funds said, eyeing off her African victims.

The disease, not in the Bible, should be. It's just that good at killing the poor and ignorant.

God, it's a testament to your greatness.

"It's a ripper!" Bible-pashers told themselves as the world, spinning on its axis, went about its grinning.

"Crikey, if God is love then I'm a monkey's uncle," Greer preached, picking fleas from her avuncularly shaped testicles, as she prepared a service for her congregation.

God, only humans form families.



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Naked Girl Goes on the Attack

July 7th 2008 23:54
Decent folk round up the naked girl

The naked girl at the centre of a controversial photograph has leapt to the defence of pedophiles everywhere with a stunning attack on key targets.

"How would you like it if I dropped a bomb on your house?" she asked one as she tucked into her aborted foetus.

Rhetorical.

The bombshell, an absolute stunner for her age and for all ages, then dropped the "F" bomb on an infantry of intellectual infants.

"For photography's sake!" she said proudly as she took off her burning kitten while wankers watched on.

And on.

The bomb, from the mouth of this absolute babe, missed its muck.

"We're going to teach her the meaning of the word misguided," a survivor said stroking his missile.

The pedophiles are in hiding.

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Fat Tony: Corby is the Big Cheese

June 24th 2008 02:11
Body-hoarding gimp, ruglord, mister of disguise and indecent until proven quilty man Tony Mokbel has pointed the thinger squarely at the woman he described as "bossy-britches" in stunning revelations to be aired soon.

"She looks like a regular person," Fat Tony told Jenny Craig as he sat down to a calorie contorted regime.

"But inside beats the heart of person with clogged arteries," the overwrought Mokbel snorted while slipping on a Diet Coke.

Mokbel claims that he was merely a poppet for Corby, who he also describes as "about 75kgs".

"That puts her street value off the graph!" he muttered to inquiring soap-makers.

The claims are refuted strangely by Corby's mother, who has reason to believe that Corby, on the run in leotards, has lost weight recently.

"I'm sending a convoy of obese Australians over to see Mokbel," she confessed to her father, for she had sunned, herself.

"The whole thing is going to blow up in his face!" she exclimbed, downering a hymnburger with the lit.

Salt and sugar are not drugs.

Lord, no!



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