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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Norm, nature-laugher, florist extraordinaire, bong-head, simpleton, Marxist reanimator, dope-thinker, papal-pleaser, stay-at-home dud, fart-laugher, and kiddy-art crayoner is too much of a laugher to think that nature doesn't have the answers.

"I'm too conceited to admit that I am conceited," the willing masturbator, crass-dresser and master of conceit told waiting ear-holes.

Words, insane, inane, human creations, are barely of our own making, anyway, he said whittling his pencil into a sharp point.

That we think they are the masters of reality is a sham, the increasingly erotic wordsloth told the mastery that is the world we try and hopelessly master.

Particularly when they're so hard to muster, anyway, the authoritarian farce of reason said as he stacked a pile of words to create offence he was building to keep the pests out.

Dearth, waiting in the wings like a flea on a pigeon, is too plentiful to believe in our supremacy, the increasingly rabid dag told fellow laughers.

It's unfortunate that pride comes before a fool, the foolish philanthropist told himself as someone paraded a float of big words down the river.

Words, water off a dick's blog, are not reality; reality is hard like my fart.

Nature beats book for truth, I'm silly.



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The new vehicle, descried by executives as the latest in the ever-decreasing gap between desitiny and home, is descried by environmentalists as a car that shits all over anything else on the road.

Utilising cheap immigrant workers under the floor of the vehicle, where they live with their children and grandchildren, the Commoder wipes up after it's off.

"Australia is a notion of passengers," revealed one immigrant living and working under the bonnet.

The Commoder, with a being in every bonnet, faeces injected and fast like a fridge on rollerskits, is a must for eery Australians looking to announce their identity.

"It's not a symbol of why the world is fast going to shit the way that it is when all we want is more of the things that are sending the world to shit," said one silly sausage.

Pricks.




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In a coup for wealthy arts-holes, striving artists have increased the size of the pool in the Archibald lottery.

"We've had to dig around in the dirt for years," said one blood-shot-eyed loser in a dtch.

The coup, chicken-feed for wealthy cats, is a cage.

The pool cleaner, a woman without a moustache, arrived with her children to sweep the pool for her.

"It's not creepy to get my crawlers to do my dirty work," she told the wealthy land-owners.

There can only be one winner in the exploitation of pool-diggers.

"It's me," the winner told jubilant art-lovers.

When asked if she could be any clearer, she told baby-shitters for Sean Connery: "Do I have to paint a picture for you?"


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Posh Spice Gets a New Rack

March 6th 2008 23:33
Posh Spice's New Rack
Carpenters had a hand in it

The seasoned snob graciously accepted a meat-tray after winning a lottery at her local boozer before downing another pint of piss and chucking up in the lavatory.

[ Click here to read more ]
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