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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

The new vehicle, descried by executives as the latest in the ever-decreasing gap between desitiny and home, is descried by environmentalists as a car that shits all over anything else on the road.

Utilising cheap immigrant workers under the floor of the vehicle, where they live with their children and grandchildren, the Commoder wipes up after it's off.

"Australia is a notion of passengers," revealed one immigrant living and working under the bonnet.

The Commoder, with a being in every bonnet, faeces injected and fast like a fridge on rollerskits, is a must for eery Australians looking to announce their identity.

"It's not a symbol of why the world is fast going to shit the way that it is when all we want is more of the things that are sending the world to shit," said one silly sausage.

Pricks.




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In a coup for wealthy arts-holes, striving artists have increased the size of the pool in the Archibald lottery.

"We've had to dig around in the dirt for years," said one blood-shot-eyed loser in a dtch.

The coup, chicken-feed for wealthy cats, is a cage.

The pool cleaner, a woman without a moustache, arrived with her children to sweep the pool for her.

"It's not creepy to get my crawlers to do my dirty work," she told the wealthy land-owners.

There can only be one winner in the exploitation of pool-diggers.

"It's me," the winner told jubilant art-lovers.

When asked if she could be any clearer, she told baby-shitters for Sean Connery: "Do I have to paint a picture for you?"


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