Hopoate Resumes Career in Rock, Paper, Bonzai Plant, Scissors, Chopsticks, Paper Clip, Man Event
October 31st 2008 01:34
Disgraced protege of scurrulous ace and guttural reporter SportingMind, John Hopoate has reanimated his ailing career by entering into the inaugural fisting event held in Greece.
"He's got the goods, this kid," a Greek fister and black-market stall-holder told his go-between as Hopoate, shielded from the media by SportingMind, was put through some fisting manouevres.
"He's the best I've ever seen," SportingMind, on ambassadorial duties, told the world's media. "His mastery of the fist shows a deep understanding of what can be done with it."
The event, the first of its kind anywhere outside a Rugby League Stadium, involves a number of difficult fist-signals that competitors have to grapple with, but it's above the shoulders that the game is won and lost.
"The rules stipulate that the signal must be held above the shoulders for no fewer than 6 days, which makes it marginally more exciting than anything you could witness on the League field," SportingMind, a convert to the great game of Aussie Rules, said.
Hopoate, perhaps the eventual champion, has already demonstrated his understanding of the complexities of how insular a society ours really is by accidentally sticking his finger up at someone, at the wrong time.
"That someone wasn't me," Nine's Ken Sutcliffe, and former underwear model for Graham Kennedy, told his self, "but I sometimes wish it wasn't," a confused Sutcliffe read off a cue-card.
"He's got the goods, this kid," a Greek fister and black-market stall-holder told his go-between as Hopoate, shielded from the media by SportingMind, was put through some fisting manouevres.
"He's the best I've ever seen," SportingMind, on ambassadorial duties, told the world's media. "His mastery of the fist shows a deep understanding of what can be done with it."
The event, the first of its kind anywhere outside a Rugby League Stadium, involves a number of difficult fist-signals that competitors have to grapple with, but it's above the shoulders that the game is won and lost.
"The rules stipulate that the signal must be held above the shoulders for no fewer than 6 days, which makes it marginally more exciting than anything you could witness on the League field," SportingMind, a convert to the great game of Aussie Rules, said.
Hopoate, perhaps the eventual champion, has already demonstrated his understanding of the complexities of how insular a society ours really is by accidentally sticking his finger up at someone, at the wrong time.
"That someone wasn't me," Nine's Ken Sutcliffe, and former underwear model for Graham Kennedy, told his self, "but I sometimes wish it wasn't," a confused Sutcliffe read off a cue-card.
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Comment by David Edwards
Sporting Mind
Very good.
I look forward to the inaugural "Man-event", as it is known shorthand.
Incidentally, Hopoate's defence in the "contrary conduct" trial that eventually left his repuation in tatters, was that he was merely trying to highlight the importance of regular prostate examinations for men over 40. SportingMind sticks by Hoppa's statement.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Couch-potato Cancer Foundation, the official sponsor of the first annual Man-event.
You're a good sport... ingMind.
I'll never forget when The King accidentally broke a glass over Kenny's head. Taped it.
Cheers
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Anonymous
I mean, you don't know where that finger's been...
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power