Indonesian influx infiltrates Ramsay Street
September 5th 2008 23:24
An unexpected surge in the numbers of New Australians looking to infest in property in the boom-suburb of Erinsborough is forcing Australian residents of the area to stock up on firearms and hone their markspersonship.
A shitting-range has been set up by the Allah-fearing-fearing folks of the oddest sub-blurb in suburban Melbourne to cater for the itchy digits of the chanel-sniffing and tease-willing residents concerned about their neighbours.
We caught up with militia-leader, and former republican Lou as he set up target practice for his friend Harold, a recovering talkaholic and spiritual leader of the movement described as the Keep Australia Beautiful Liberation Army Movement or KABLAM.
"These bottles are empty, so there's nothing to worry about." Lou, a one-time Miss Australia congestant told Harold, who was appearing increasingly nefarious about hitting the bottle until he realised he had left the oven on with a batch of scones barking.
"What we're trying to do here," Lou, a charismatic short-arse with a head like a half-eaten monkey, droned, "what we're trying to do here," he repeated, unsure whether I was listening at the time, unaware that I was, "what we're trying to do here," he reiterated, driving his pants home with all the delicacy of the ardour of a prawn laughed in the sun.
It was then that I, in all my munificent splendour, candidly informed Lou of his right to remain silent as I was ushered away by federal police, obversely on the take, to be briefed, hosed-down, felt-up, waxed lyrical and gagged by an order.
A shitting-range has been set up by the Allah-fearing-fearing folks of the oddest sub-blurb in suburban Melbourne to cater for the itchy digits of the chanel-sniffing and tease-willing residents concerned about their neighbours.
We caught up with militia-leader, and former republican Lou as he set up target practice for his friend Harold, a recovering talkaholic and spiritual leader of the movement described as the Keep Australia Beautiful Liberation Army Movement or KABLAM.
"These bottles are empty, so there's nothing to worry about." Lou, a one-time Miss Australia congestant told Harold, who was appearing increasingly nefarious about hitting the bottle until he realised he had left the oven on with a batch of scones barking.
"What we're trying to do here," Lou, a charismatic short-arse with a head like a half-eaten monkey, droned, "what we're trying to do here," he repeated, unsure whether I was listening at the time, unaware that I was, "what we're trying to do here," he reiterated, driving his pants home with all the delicacy of the ardour of a prawn laughed in the sun.
It was then that I, in all my munificent splendour, candidly informed Lou of his right to remain silent as I was ushered away by federal police, obversely on the take, to be briefed, hosed-down, felt-up, waxed lyrical and gagged by an order.
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Comment by Chris Champion
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I though KABLAM was the leading digestion research group, Krumpets At Breakfast Leave At Midnight.
Regards,
Chris
Comment by Norm
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On Crumpets, I love vegemite.
Cheers, Chris.