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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Kidman Bodyguard Smacks Her Snapper

March 16th 2008 23:43
Nicole's bodyguard isn't kidding about the redness or rawness

Nicole Kidman's bodyguard, a man with a razor-whip and keen eyesores, has hit the headlines after allegedly, supposedly, possibly, whacking Kidman's snapper.

The snapper, red and raw, smelling like seafood except more slippery than an eel, was caught slipping out of Kidman's petticoat while she was out hooking.

The wafer-thin waif, a wily veteran of the wharf, was working at the time.

Her bodyguard, when pressed about his involvement with the fishy business, could only say that he was only after some fish-fingers and didn't really want to dive in the ocean.

"I went to the bottom and found her starfish," he explained, "I never douched her snapper."

Whether he did or he didn't, the smelly object was as clean as if he didn't.

"Snappers are made to be battered," he said with his mouth full.

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Comments
2 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Kim Lock

March 17th 2008 00:02
Great blog - this is celebrity news worth reading!!
Kim

Comment by Norm

March 17th 2008 23:35

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