Latin Lovers Lament the Decline of Romance: SPECIAL REPORT
October 10th 2008 23:47
Time machine commuters from the Middle Ages, Latin lovers if ever they saw you, are appalled at the lack of learning on the part of modern scholars; shocked and appalled.
"Shocked and appalled. I'm shocked and appalled and, what's more, do you know where I can find Thomas Edison?" the towering collossus of erudition said, brushing up on his vernacular.
"I'll be! There must be an easier way to make sure film is never invented," the antique said, thumbing his nose through the white pages in a desparate bidet to track down the not-so-steamy inventor of the end of learning.
The Latin-lover, a bucket of dim-sims, and brandishing all his scholarly erudition, Romance naturally, had, earlier in his trip, gone to the pictures to 'escape the horrible truth of his life,' only to find: no subtitles.
"I couldn't believe what I was watching," the teary scholar, sitting on the urinal, said, "In the days of silent pictures, I could at least have something to read when I took the kids out," he said, taking some kids out with a cat with nine tails.
"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoowwwwwwwrrr ."
"If I ever do happen to find Edison, I'll be all like, 'Are you Thomas Edison?' and he'll be all like 'No. Please, no!' and I'll be all like 'See you later, baby!' and then I'll be all like "I'll be back,' and he'll be all like 'Can you get me a drink?' and I'll be all like 'I'm not a pack-horse, you know!' and he'll be all like 'Go on!" and then I'll be all like 'Whatever,' and then I'll be liked by all, including him!"
The time-travelling supplier, government sponsored, has today alerted its officers to be on the lookout for the coke-carrying scholar of yesteryear, and have been instructed to assault the senseless.
Edison, the first man to electrocute an ephelant, has thanked the Academy, and in particular Plato for his fine work in Republic; "Thank you, Plato." he said, sipping his coco-cola through a straw-hat. "I'd like to thank Zeus, but he's dead," he went on a blender, "so I can't."
"Shocked and appalled. I'm shocked and appalled and, what's more, do you know where I can find Thomas Edison?" the towering collossus of erudition said, brushing up on his vernacular.
"I'll be! There must be an easier way to make sure film is never invented," the antique said, thumbing his nose through the white pages in a desparate bidet to track down the not-so-steamy inventor of the end of learning.
The Latin-lover, a bucket of dim-sims, and brandishing all his scholarly erudition, Romance naturally, had, earlier in his trip, gone to the pictures to 'escape the horrible truth of his life,' only to find: no subtitles.
"I couldn't believe what I was watching," the teary scholar, sitting on the urinal, said, "In the days of silent pictures, I could at least have something to read when I took the kids out," he said, taking some kids out with a cat with nine tails.
"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoowwwwwwwrrr ."
"If I ever do happen to find Edison, I'll be all like, 'Are you Thomas Edison?' and he'll be all like 'No. Please, no!' and I'll be all like 'See you later, baby!' and then I'll be all like "I'll be back,' and he'll be all like 'Can you get me a drink?' and I'll be all like 'I'm not a pack-horse, you know!' and he'll be all like 'Go on!" and then I'll be all like 'Whatever,' and then I'll be liked by all, including him!"
The time-travelling supplier, government sponsored, has today alerted its officers to be on the lookout for the coke-carrying scholar of yesteryear, and have been instructed to assault the senseless.
Edison, the first man to electrocute an ephelant, has thanked the Academy, and in particular Plato for his fine work in Republic; "Thank you, Plato." he said, sipping his coco-cola through a straw-hat. "I'd like to thank Zeus, but he's dead," he went on a blender, "so I can't."
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Morg, I spose you could read it on that many levels it's not funny. Have you heard the thing about a nation defining itself by the method of its execution? The French had the guillotine, so the Americans had to find something that said 'this defines who we are' and electricity just got them all hot under the rubber hat. On the flipside, that poor ephelant.