Man chops off his penis
June 1st 2009 00:50
A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower class family, police reported on Sunday.
"I'm in love," the man screamed, waving his penis in the air, "Now," he said, chopping it off, "If I can't be with the one I love, then I will give it to my best mate," he said, giving it to a close friend, "It's wrong to disobey one's parents," he said, "They never said I couldn't cut myself off."
The man's close friend, a eunuch, is happy to take whatever the man can throw his way because, as he knows, Jesus stated: "For there are some eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."
"I'm very happy to be on the receiving end of my best mate's gracious penis," the close friend said, "I know what it feels like to long for one you love," he said, holding his best mate's penis between his teeth while he zipped up his fly, "Not since my balls drop though," he said, stretching a rubber band.
The man, healthier for cutting a part of himself off from the rest, and his close friend the eunuch, a self-made man with the balls of a woman, have both thrown their support behind the routine psychology which has men cut parts of themselves off from the rest in a bid to be close to Jesus.
"It's against my religion to be in love," the man said, pissing a shit-load of blood, "Cutting off bits of my penis, on the other hand..." he said, clutching the knife, "Cutting off my penis is part of becoming a man," he told his best mate the eunuch, "Jesus was just a man," he said, scratching his balls.
"I'm in love," the man screamed, waving his penis in the air, "Now," he said, chopping it off, "If I can't be with the one I love, then I will give it to my best mate," he said, giving it to a close friend, "It's wrong to disobey one's parents," he said, "They never said I couldn't cut myself off."
The man's close friend, a eunuch, is happy to take whatever the man can throw his way because, as he knows, Jesus stated: "For there are some eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."
"I'm very happy to be on the receiving end of my best mate's gracious penis," the close friend said, "I know what it feels like to long for one you love," he said, holding his best mate's penis between his teeth while he zipped up his fly, "Not since my balls drop though," he said, stretching a rubber band.
The man, healthier for cutting a part of himself off from the rest, and his close friend the eunuch, a self-made man with the balls of a woman, have both thrown their support behind the routine psychology which has men cut parts of themselves off from the rest in a bid to be close to Jesus.
"It's against my religion to be in love," the man said, pissing a shit-load of blood, "Cutting off bits of my penis, on the other hand..." he said, clutching the knife, "Cutting off my penis is part of becoming a man," he told his best mate the eunuch, "Jesus was just a man," he said, scratching his balls.
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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