MENTAL ILLNESS FACTORIES ROLL OUT PARANOID SERIES
September 21st 2010 22:55
Migrant Detention Centres of Australia (MDCA) have gone into full production of the top-of-the-range all luxury model of what Charles, Orble's Top Writer, is describing as, "guaranteed to blow up unexpectedly, killing hundreds."
The MDCA Paranoid Series handles any situation with unexplained noises and a concealed weapon, guaranteeing model citizens that they're going to get stabbed in the neck with their deckchair.
Former MDCA Managing Director Philip Ruddock believes the new paranoid range offers a new level of sophistication and continues the company’s long history of innovation.
It's a scenario not lost on Orble's highly-credentialed 'Top Writer' Charles, cruising around in a people-mover full of displaced people, who added:
"Other unique features specific to the HSV E Series 3 includes reverse camera with rear park assist, sat-nav and touchscreen radio with iPod connectivity as standard."
"Don't touch that," he snapped, slapping a whole series of seekers of asylum on the hand as they tried to gain entry via the back door. "That's my special place."
The MDCA Paranoid Series handles any situation with unexplained noises and a concealed weapon, guaranteeing model citizens that they're going to get stabbed in the neck with their deckchair.
Former MDCA Managing Director Philip Ruddock believes the new paranoid range offers a new level of sophistication and continues the company’s long history of innovation.
"Everybody is out to get me and this just goes to show it," he said, peering out the window.
"You only have to look at the latest F-series of self-mutilation and suicide in detention centres around the country to realise that."
"For example, imagine a scenario. Your home is invaded by armed men. You jump the fence to escape. You jump into my backyard. You bang on the backdoor. You're scared for your life. What should I do?"
"I should probably say you're making it up."
"Or, at the very least ask you to knock politely on the front door."
You might say, "Excuse me, my home has been invaded. They're trying to kill me."
"I'll ask you to just wait out there, while we ascertain your credentials."
"You only have to look at the latest F-series of self-mutilation and suicide in detention centres around the country to realise that."
"For example, imagine a scenario. Your home is invaded by armed men. You jump the fence to escape. You jump into my backyard. You bang on the backdoor. You're scared for your life. What should I do?"
"I should probably say you're making it up."
"Or, at the very least ask you to knock politely on the front door."
You might say, "Excuse me, my home has been invaded. They're trying to kill me."
"I'll ask you to just wait out there, while we ascertain your credentials."
It's a scenario not lost on Orble's highly-credentialed 'Top Writer' Charles, cruising around in a people-mover full of displaced people, who added:
"Other unique features specific to the HSV E Series 3 includes reverse camera with rear park assist, sat-nav and touchscreen radio with iPod connectivity as standard."
"Don't touch that," he snapped, slapping a whole series of seekers of asylum on the hand as they tried to gain entry via the back door. "That's my special place."
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