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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

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'Molotov cocktail attack' on Melbourne pub

April 20th 2009 03:04

The pants of two hotel patrons caught on fire after a petrol bomb was thrown at a nightspot in Melbourne's northern suburbs on Saturday.

The Communist Party of Australia (CPOA) has claimed responsibility for the attack, saying intoxicated capitalists will get hurt for speaking.

"As soon as they opened their mouths, their pants were on fire," said a leading member of the vanguard, lighting up and putting out a pair of pants.

The Capitalist Party of Australia (CPOA) has claimed responsibility for the misunderstanding, saying that one of its members ordered a cock-sucking cowboy that came in the form of a stiff drink.

"I was just sittng at the bar waiting for another round," said a CPOA stalwart, blind and drunk, "All of a sudden, I opened my mouth and could feel a warm sensation in my pants."

The two parties, hosing down speculation of a rift, have met for another round of talks to try and resolve the issue of who wears the more fashionable pants.

"Definitely, my pants are hotter," said a CPOA propaganda machinist, "They're based on an original design by Senator Joe McCarthy," they said, squeezing into a pair of hotpants.

The CPOA refused to be drawn for a comment into the cause of why their pants were on fire, for fear of the consequences it could have on the strides they'd made.

"I'll say this, we of the CPOA will not be drawn into playing silly games with the CPOA," a CPOA spy said, measuring himself against a CPOA infiltrator standing over the urinals.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: Fashion

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Comments

22 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by alt_ed

April 20th 2009 03:16

Alted Opinion
ArtCombat
The Inner Saintdom

Stiff drinks, hot pants, cock suckers... why Norm, I had no idea the two D's lead such exciting lives!

Comment by Optomistic Opportunism

April 20th 2009 03:18

Japanese Jazz Funk
Optomystic Opportunism

Sounds nasty. Can't believe they still talk to each other.

Comment by Norm

April 20th 2009 03:31

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

alt_ed, I often ask myself, why Norm? Why? I don't have the answers. I just have a couple of questions.

OptoOppo, I bet you knew that WW2 decimated the Russians. The Cold War was merely the icing on the cake.

Comment by alt_ed

April 20th 2009 03:38

Alted Opinion
ArtCombat
The Inner Saintdom

It's very difficult to apply cold icing Norm. Ideally it should be spread at room temperature, then placed somewhere cold to set, like a refrigerator.

So sit on that you commie bastard!

Comment by Morgan Bell

April 20th 2009 06:04

Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train

molotov cocktails, not as fun as they sound

Comment by Norm

April 20th 2009 09:37

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

alt_ed, fact is, you'd make a wonderful husband. Your handling of the home economy is right up there.

Thanks for offering me your seat. You should always give it up for a pregnant man.

Morgo, sure beats what comrade Trotsky got, in my mind.

Comment by Morgan Bell

April 20th 2009 09:53

Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train

i think you would look nice in a red crushed velvet suit

Comment by Norm

April 20th 2009 10:01

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

It might alienate The People if I look too at home with dope duds.

I'll stick with the lycra leotards and trenchcoat, thanks.

Comment by Morgan Bell

April 20th 2009 12:18

Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train

well thats my second favourite look

Comment by Norm

April 20th 2009 23:57

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

I know you'll try and distance yourself later from that comment so, I took the liberty of cutting and pasting it for my records.

See you in court, madam.

Comment by Mau-Medellin

April 21st 2009 00:01

Mau-Medellin

I love a good molotov cocktail.... with a dash of prick tease to taste!

Comment by Norm

April 21st 2009 00:18

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

Welcome to the party, comrade Mau-Medellin.

Comment by Mau-Medellin

April 21st 2009 00:22

Mau-Medellin

Thank you for your comments, Norm(an).

Comment by Norm

April 21st 2009 00:29

Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power

Thank you for yours too, comrade Mau.

Comment by Morgan Bell

April 21st 2009 11:52

Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train

I know you'll try and distance yourself later from that comment so, I took the liberty of cutting and pasting it for my records.

See you in court, madam.

ok that was GOOD!