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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

Murdoch snubs James as News Corp heir

August 12th 2011 03:00
   


Geoffrey Edelsten has wagered $1 million on his bride Brynne to win Channel 7 reality dance-off Dancing With the Stars.

The former prime minister said he was just following standard practice for government ministers.

The only problem with such superb forward thinking is that the Royal Family is still very much backward and old fashioned when it comes to some matters, namely two rifles — a .22 calibre rifle and .22 calibre semi-automatic rifle — knuckledusters, a taser gun and $2650 in cash.

This is in keeping with the Royal Family's public role, which is based on identifying with every section of society, including severing their spinal cords with scissors.

As arguably Britain's most dysfunctional family, the Monarchy had a history of alcohol-fuelled domestic violence and at times, police found six mature cannabis plants and seven seedlings being grown hydroponically.

In Britain, when the Queen stops eating, you pulled her hair and on more than one occasion destroyed her clothes, shoes and jewellery after arguing with her about drinking and gambling.

Famous for saying "you are only as strong as the tables you dance on, the drinks you mix and the friends you roll with", Prince Andrew, Duke of York, said that the Royal Family was not allowed to play Monopoly at home "because it gets too vicious".

Geoffrey is confident his buxom party-girl wife will receive excellent scores from the judges and will leave the Australian public during an argument about him going to the casino to gamble.
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