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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

MySpace prepares for massive layoffs: report

June 17th 2009 03:53
News Corp's MySpace refused to comment on Thursday on a report the previous day that said the online social network will fire a "massive" number of employees.

"We have seen a record number of our people update their status," News Corp's MySpace said on Friday, "to not working," MySpace said, sensing a rapid swing in mood towards a "depression."

Which is why the people at Kraft Foods took the advice of more than 300,000 Australians before they meddled with Vegemite.

"We've taken on board what our friends at MySpace have told us," the people at Kraft Foods said, sailing off into the horizon. "They told us that they're fed up with the same old shit," they said.

The 'Pirates of the Caribbean' actor admits he wasn't ready to settle down when he wed make-up artist Lori Anne Allison in 1983 and is pleased they never started a family.

"As I told friends," he said, "I think I really dodged a bullet," he said, breeding profusely from a wound. "It's going to take me a while to get over this," he said, looking at a valley of Vegemite.

A Melbourne academic says shutting down Facebook hate groups is not the way to combat "rising levels of intolerance" in Australia.

"Hate is a symptom of some underlying disease," he said, hitting the books. "You can't spell it without having eaten," he said, pointing to the professor's underlying uneasiness.

IN 29 years of enforcing sewage laws in Pennsylvania, Jack Crislip has never faced violators quite like the members of the ultra-conservative Swartzentruber Amish sect.

"At some point this shit has to stop," Captain Jack said, showered in shit. "It's getting to the point where it's getting right up my nose," he said, blowing his brains out his nose.

The result of those consultations, and nine months of tinkering with ingredients, is the first variation in 85 years on an astonishingly successful theme.


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6 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Morgan Bell

June 17th 2009 07:29
it probably wont surprise you to know that i recently reported a homophobic hate group on Facebook. . . i love those report buttons

checkmate

Comment by Norm

June 17th 2009 13:12
Orble is read, write and report, it has to be said.
Say it.
In cyberspace,
everything's a scream.

Comment by Morgan Bell

June 17th 2009 13:25
get away from her you bitch

Comment by Norm

June 20th 2009 01:10

Comment by Morgan Bell

June 22nd 2009 10:57
oops ive created a clean spot

Comment by Norm

June 22nd 2009 23:58

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