New Lip Sync Laws On The Cards
November 6th 2009 00:05
Most members of the Spears family aren't too sharp
Pop stars such as Britney Spears may be forced to alert fans if they intend on miming throughout their shows under new laws.
The new laws to be passed by a speeding car on a busy suburban street will see what looks like a blur but is really light entertainment in the form of a young woman of loose morals and looser footwear and looser hip-joints.
Loose footwear, banned in some Muslim countries, has been blamed for a number of poor performances recorded in studios, but cleaned up with the aid of high-tech and very sneaky computerised vocal enhancements.
Computerised enhancements are the latest in a string of dangerous trends that have the poor and needless reaching into their pockets, when they really should be minding their own business executives at an important engagement.
The new laws, dubbed by Milli Vanilli as "guaranteed to shut you up, bitch", put serious downward pressure on Spears, great with her lips but not so great with her throat, to manage a performance deserving of her public.
The public, eager to congregate in large numbers to hear a large number of numbers, are privately seeking a share of the fame and fortune that just happened to fall at the thongs of the very vocal campaigner for the rights of children: Britney Spears.
Spears, strangely silent at this stage, has had a number of run-ins with "the door-handle" also "tripped and fell down the stairs", and is being backed by human punching air-bag Rihanna in her bid to buy some balls at auction.
The new laws that are on the cards are set to be read out loud by President Obama from a teleprompter, just as soon as Obama, secretly run by battering his wife, can get off his lazy black eyes the spectatcles that have dogged his "black ass".
Spears may be an ass, but she's as black about having to sing for her supper as that character who played Gary Coleman in Oliver Twist who was always asking for more cruel and inhuman punishment, and that can only end with a mild stroke.
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