Norm Falls And Sustains Trauma
March 11th 2009 01:01
The greatest genius in the entire Western literary tradition Norm, has fallen and hit his head on his PC, sustaining potentially permanent head injuries that doctors say they couldn't care less about.
"Do you know what day it is," they asked him.
"It's today, of course," Norm replied.
"Yes, but what day of the week is today?" they responded, unkindly.
"Today is the day before tomorrow," Norm replied.
"Yes, but what day of the week is it?" they asked.
"Today is the day I hit my head on the PC, and woke up surrounded by a large number of people who are so attached to themselves they can't let go of themelves, and some I count as friends and some I count as making up the numbers and some I count as worthy adversaries and some I count as both, and some I count as none," Norm said.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" they asked, knowingly.
"They're your fingers," Norm replied, scratching his arse with his scrotum.
"I'm asking you as your doctor," they said, pressing a finger into his soft head.
"I'm telling you as your patient that you went to medical school and you don't even know how many fingers you're holding up," Norm, growing vegetables, snapped.
"You're not worth worrying about," they said.
"In case you don't know, I have a personal issue with the medical profession," Norm prescribed.
"You're a pointless child," they said, checking the chart.
Am not.
Are too.
"Do you know what day it is," they asked him.
"It's today, of course," Norm replied.
"Yes, but what day of the week is today?" they responded, unkindly.
"Today is the day before tomorrow," Norm replied.
"Yes, but what day of the week is it?" they asked.
"Today is the day I hit my head on the PC, and woke up surrounded by a large number of people who are so attached to themselves they can't let go of themelves, and some I count as friends and some I count as making up the numbers and some I count as worthy adversaries and some I count as both, and some I count as none," Norm said.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" they asked, knowingly.
"They're your fingers," Norm replied, scratching his arse with his scrotum.
"I'm asking you as your doctor," they said, pressing a finger into his soft head.
"I'm telling you as your patient that you went to medical school and you don't even know how many fingers you're holding up," Norm, growing vegetables, snapped.
"You're not worth worrying about," they said.
"In case you don't know, I have a personal issue with the medical profession," Norm prescribed.
"You're a pointless child," they said, checking the chart.
Am not.
Are too.
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Comment by Optomistic Opportunism
Bohemian Hiphop
Japanese Jazz Funk
Optomystic Opportunism
Phone someone who cares.
That's what the doc said last time I entered the surgery with head problems, and I feel I should pass this advice to you, Norm, Oh great champion of literacy!
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Chris Champion
LettersToNorm
moneywhither
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
Comment by RubySoho
Music Zone
Thought Zone
is that what they are calling it these days?
Comment by Nomad
Awesome Food
It's alright though, I'm in the early stages too.
-Failing memory
-Changes in behaviour
-Lack of coordination
I tried to duck a fuck the other day, and all I ended up with was a handful of feathers...
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
Comment by alt_ed
Alted Opinion
ArtCombat
The Inner Saintdom
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power