Norm in Crisis Talks With Himself
March 3rd 2009 23:28
International exponent of the lost art of inventing things for the benefit of his own amazement Norm, is today in talks with himself to resolve some unspeakable internal trauma.
It is understood that the dramatic events have been secretly playing out since he laid eyes on this apple that is just out of reach, tantalisingly so.
"It seems that the closer I get to having it in my hot little hand, the further away it really is. I grew an inch when I saw it, but it grew too," the dog-paddling fool said.
The pathetic idiot, an idiot from all sides, has never seen such a firm and exotic piece of nature's rich bounty and it's killing him slowly but sourly to be unable to reach it.
"I like that it's just out of reach but I'm finding it hard to keep my head above water. Not that I mind going under. I think I saw five cents on the bottom," he gargled.
The crisis talks to be held on neutral territory will see Norm face his darkest and steepest desires in a bid to resolve the intolerable earnings he feels are within him.
"I earn. I ache. It must be that I hope to get something out of these talks. A new pair of pants, for a start. If not that, what else?" the besotted idiot complained.
The besotted idiot, opening up his gaping wound for the arse of the world, has formed an onion that there are some things in this world worth writing for.
"It's so funny I forgot to laugh. I forget a lot of things; like where my hands have been. That's a good reason you shouldn't shake my hands. I never know where they've been."
It is understood that the dramatic events have been secretly playing out since he laid eyes on this apple that is just out of reach, tantalisingly so.
"It seems that the closer I get to having it in my hot little hand, the further away it really is. I grew an inch when I saw it, but it grew too," the dog-paddling fool said.
The pathetic idiot, an idiot from all sides, has never seen such a firm and exotic piece of nature's rich bounty and it's killing him slowly but sourly to be unable to reach it.
"I like that it's just out of reach but I'm finding it hard to keep my head above water. Not that I mind going under. I think I saw five cents on the bottom," he gargled.
The crisis talks to be held on neutral territory will see Norm face his darkest and steepest desires in a bid to resolve the intolerable earnings he feels are within him.
"I earn. I ache. It must be that I hope to get something out of these talks. A new pair of pants, for a start. If not that, what else?" the besotted idiot complained.
The besotted idiot, opening up his gaping wound for the arse of the world, has formed an onion that there are some things in this world worth writing for.
"It's so funny I forgot to laugh. I forget a lot of things; like where my hands have been. That's a good reason you shouldn't shake my hands. I never know where they've been."
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As we speak I am brokering an historical deal with myself.
After much negotiation we have reached the conclusion that yes, I am an idiot.
Thank you.
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i thought you were going to run this past me first?
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And that about covers it.
Except the crisis has been averted.
It's a disaster.