Norm Serves It Up: Many Happy Returns
June 9th 2010 01:54
Norm, an ordinary bloke - some would say very ordinary, has broken his silence for the first time in weeks over controversial remarks he has to make about people who have access to the internet.
Pressed further, Norm hinted at a return to the days before the printing press assumed control of public conciousness and laughed off reports he had lost his sense of humour in a bad joke.
"Those claims are a joke," he said, laughing his arse off, "and let me be the first to say that I'm not laughing," he said, suddenly turning deadly serious in one of those rapid changes of mood, people and pets have grown accustomed to.
Asked to elaborate on his long absence, he was at pains to say that his growing disillusionment with the internet has grown to the point where it seems pointless to him to expand on a point, missing the point entirely.
"Those who say that there's a place for creative writing on the net," Norm, notoriuosly fond of pontificating, preached, "are sadly mistaking critical writing for something I give two shits about," he said, not giving a single shit.
Norm, critical of the internet and personal impressions in general, has turned his attention to a variety of pursuits, some of which include lying in bed until it gets dark again and contemplating the point of a knife.
"I'll be damned if I'm just going to lie there all day in bed," he said, in a critical condition, "because lazy people like me can go straight to Hell," he said, without a single word of a lie.
Pressed further, Norm hinted at a return to the days before the printing press assumed control of public conciousness and laughed off reports he had lost his sense of humour in a bad joke.
"Those claims are a joke," he said, laughing his arse off, "and let me be the first to say that I'm not laughing," he said, suddenly turning deadly serious in one of those rapid changes of mood, people and pets have grown accustomed to.
Asked to elaborate on his long absence, he was at pains to say that his growing disillusionment with the internet has grown to the point where it seems pointless to him to expand on a point, missing the point entirely.
"Those who say that there's a place for creative writing on the net," Norm, notoriuosly fond of pontificating, preached, "are sadly mistaking critical writing for something I give two shits about," he said, not giving a single shit.
Norm, critical of the internet and personal impressions in general, has turned his attention to a variety of pursuits, some of which include lying in bed until it gets dark again and contemplating the point of a knife.
"I'll be damned if I'm just going to lie there all day in bed," he said, in a critical condition, "because lazy people like me can go straight to Hell," he said, without a single word of a lie.
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