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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Norm Takes A Seat: I'm a Believer

July 1st 2009 23:26
God-fearing Norm, one of God's precious creatures, fresh from "telling it how it is" to the uninformed and admiring, has lashed out at no-one in particular in a frightening attack.

"I, myself, don't believe in myself," Norm said, turning up the heat on the important and wonderful, "but Jesus," he prayed, "it's gotten awfully stuffy in here all of a sudden."

Norm, the unheralded Master of the Universe, has consistently been at pains to avoid coming off as being so full of himself it's not funny, to the extent that it's starting to hurt.

"It hurts right here," Norm, a touchy typist, said holding his hand over his mouth, "but," he said, clutching your arse, "I'm afraid this climate is caused by people being stuffy."

God, fearing Norm like the plague, has been in hiding for fear of what The Master of the Universe would do to him if he ever got his hands, infinitely more creative than God's, on him.

"My hands," God said, "pale in comparison to his," he said, in a moment of rare and refreshing humility. "The fact that I don't even exist makes life very difficult for me."

Norm, as precious as can be in God's non-existent eyes, has lashed out at passing traffic after tripping over his own feats, and nearly snapping his neck talking behind Jesus's back.

"I had to swiflty usher myself away," he said, clutching his arse. "You won't hear me say, I didn't deserve it," he said, holding his hands over your ears. "Jesus will have my arse, if I do."

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10 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 1st 2009 23:35
God, fearing Norm like the plague,

oh so YOU are the one responsible for this climate of fear

Comment by Norm

July 1st 2009 23:46
I'll tell you the truth, how many versions are there?
If you believe, like me, you'll believe there's only one.
God, you'll believe there's one ultimate viewpoint.

Comment by Norm

July 1st 2009 23:57

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 2nd 2009 00:03

Comment by Norm

July 2nd 2009 00:32

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 2nd 2009 00:33

Comment by Norm

July 2nd 2009 00:35
Do you mind?

I'm trying to sound important.

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 2nd 2009 01:00
Forget about trying to respond to me Norm.
To me you have no influence.

Don't make me bring Jon down here.

Comment by Norm

July 2nd 2009 01:11
You're so precious, my dear.
I mean, stupid.

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 2nd 2009 02:26
Faustian, thank you very much

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