Orble CEO Moves To Appease 'Hitler-like' Melbourne Socialite
June 22nd 2010 00:58
Orble CEO and founding farter Tom Cruise has moved to Melbourne in a late bid to play down mounting tension between his stable of Sydney "writers" and his mouse-infested hay stack of Melbourne "bloggers".
"I've been compared to old McDonald before," Cruise, trying his hand at goat husbandry, told the Hamburglar, "and, let me tell you, goats make excellent husbands."
The Hamburglar, a leading Melbourne identity and possibly of the view that Sydney is a bit of a funny farm, has offered to put Cruise up in his spacious Melbourne park bench.
"I've got yesterday's paper," he told that weird bloke with the trenchcoat, as they got ready for bench, pulling the paper up over his head, "but if there's one thing I can't stand it's getting woken up in the middle of the afternoon when I'm trying to sleep."
Old McDonald, a bit of a whizz in the industrial kitchen, said that, "People tell me my food is good, but I am my harshest critic. I need MasterChef to hone my skills and find out if I really am good."
Leading Sydney sausage-lover and master chef Alan Jones was at pains to add that he can't wait to see the back of MasterChef wannabe Cruise, who once again failed when it comes to cooking the books.
"I can't believe anyone would question the authentic taste of success," Old McDonald said, delivering a cross between a chicken and an alpaca. "The numbers are in and, whether you like it or not, the expected top for Melbourne is about 67."
1) 15939 charles
2) 13022 Ian
3) 6633 Jack
4) 5804 Cibbuano
5) 5594 Bryn
6) 5030 ZPages
7) 3672 MelissaA
8) 3477 Morgan Bell
9) 3303 Journeywoman
10) 2770 Tyronne
11) 2635 Oracle of Delphi
12) 2572 Whitney
13) 2550 Arnold
14) 1839 Raoul Duke
15) 1760 Matt Shea
16) 1667 Jason King
17) 1598 JohnDoe
18) 1587 Dexter
19) 1585 Scarlett
20) 1563 KC Hill
"I've been compared to old McDonald before," Cruise, trying his hand at goat husbandry, told the Hamburglar, "and, let me tell you, goats make excellent husbands."
The Hamburglar, a leading Melbourne identity and possibly of the view that Sydney is a bit of a funny farm, has offered to put Cruise up in his spacious Melbourne park bench.
"I've got yesterday's paper," he told that weird bloke with the trenchcoat, as they got ready for bench, pulling the paper up over his head, "but if there's one thing I can't stand it's getting woken up in the middle of the afternoon when I'm trying to sleep."
Old McDonald, a bit of a whizz in the industrial kitchen, said that, "People tell me my food is good, but I am my harshest critic. I need MasterChef to hone my skills and find out if I really am good."
Leading Sydney sausage-lover and master chef Alan Jones was at pains to add that he can't wait to see the back of MasterChef wannabe Cruise, who once again failed when it comes to cooking the books.
"I can't believe anyone would question the authentic taste of success," Old McDonald said, delivering a cross between a chicken and an alpaca. "The numbers are in and, whether you like it or not, the expected top for Melbourne is about 67."
1) 15939 charles
2) 13022 Ian
3) 6633 Jack
4) 5804 Cibbuano
5) 5594 Bryn
6) 5030 ZPages
7) 3672 MelissaA
8) 3477 Morgan Bell
9) 3303 Journeywoman
10) 2770 Tyronne
11) 2635 Oracle of Delphi
12) 2572 Whitney
13) 2550 Arnold
14) 1839 Raoul Duke
15) 1760 Matt Shea
16) 1667 Jason King
17) 1598 JohnDoe
18) 1587 Dexter
19) 1585 Scarlett
20) 1563 KC Hill
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