Pacific Brands execs got huge pay rises
February 26th 2009 22:32
Neo-communist agitators Pat Rafter, Michael Clarke and Sarah Murdoch are urging men and women to burn their bras, undies and singlets to highlight the success of "real existing capitalism."
"We think that everyone should march in the street with their bras and undies burning. This package is the only way we can think of to get people to put their hands in their pockets," Sarah said.
"What Sarah is trying to say is that we need to get people back into fresh underwear. It's no good for people to be wearing yesterday's undies. We have a whole new range. More expensive," Pat said.
"What Pat and Sarah are trying to say is that we need people to put their money where their mouth is. I know where my mouth is. I ask my fellow Australians, where is your mouth? Put something back into undies," Michael said.
"What I was trying to say, Michael, is that when things are a bit tight, undies are the first thing people stop squirelling away for. I urge everyone to go out, today, and put a match to your undies and see what happens," Pat pleaded.
"What Pat is trying to say is that women need to emancipate themselves from the bonds of a repressive society. The first thing they should do is go out and get a high paying job, sack a bunch of workers and then give themselves a big pat on the back. With a pay rise," Sarah quipped.
"What Sarah and Pat are trying to say is that acquiring something that everyone wants, like say a close relationship with the latest model, will make you feel in some way compensated for these uncomfortable feelings," Michael fidgeted.
"What I mean by that is if men and women stop wearing new undies we could see a real collapse of the only thing between pants and skirts and genitals and, more importantly, something we all share, and that's an arsehole," he said.
"We think that everyone should march in the street with their bras and undies burning. This package is the only way we can think of to get people to put their hands in their pockets," Sarah said.
"What Sarah is trying to say is that we need to get people back into fresh underwear. It's no good for people to be wearing yesterday's undies. We have a whole new range. More expensive," Pat said.
"What Pat and Sarah are trying to say is that we need people to put their money where their mouth is. I know where my mouth is. I ask my fellow Australians, where is your mouth? Put something back into undies," Michael said.
"What I was trying to say, Michael, is that when things are a bit tight, undies are the first thing people stop squirelling away for. I urge everyone to go out, today, and put a match to your undies and see what happens," Pat pleaded.
"What Pat is trying to say is that women need to emancipate themselves from the bonds of a repressive society. The first thing they should do is go out and get a high paying job, sack a bunch of workers and then give themselves a big pat on the back. With a pay rise," Sarah quipped.
"What Sarah and Pat are trying to say is that acquiring something that everyone wants, like say a close relationship with the latest model, will make you feel in some way compensated for these uncomfortable feelings," Michael fidgeted.
"What I mean by that is if men and women stop wearing new undies we could see a real collapse of the only thing between pants and skirts and genitals and, more importantly, something we all share, and that's an arsehole," he said.
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