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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

Pakistan wrapping up cricket attacks probe

March 6th 2009 23:39
Pakistani police say they will wrap up an interim report into the deadly Sri Lankan cricket attack within 24 hours, after authorities said the perpetrators had been identified.

The men are described as being of Middle Eastern appearance with moustaches and beards and carrying semi-automatic weapons, possibly travelling by foot or taxi.

A taxi driver being interviewed by police is believed to fit the description being given by witnesses but accidentally got lost leaving the station and hasn't been seen since.

"We wish to speak to this man. Ask him if he has had a busy night. Throw up in the back. Stab him in the neck. Run off without paying the fare. Ask him why he doesn't piss off to his own country?"

Another man fitting the description had last been seen wandering the streets with a clipboard, knocking on doors looking to get people to sign their lives away on a dotted line.

"He told me to sign here, initial there and my life would improve. I did as I was told. I don't want my life not to get any better. He had a gun too. The beginnings of a moustache. He asked me if he could use the toilet. As far as I know he never used no toilet paper. I'd recognise him anywhere. Particularly if I saw him working in a convenience store," one witness said.

Pakistani authorities have been working around the clock to keep the doors of their small to medium-sized business open over the last 24 hours.

"We had to find stick to keep farking things open," said one, "and nobody even noticed these delicious confectionary expiring before my very farking hand. They're not a hand-grenades! We keep them under counter."





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Comments
5 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by damian

March 7th 2009 03:18
I believe the attack was simply a trial of 'hot spot' technology.

Comment by Norm

March 7th 2009 21:48
I find it hard to believe that Pakistani agents are sloppy in the field.

Comment by Morgan Bell

March 8th 2009 19:53
i wonder if Madonna has an alibi?

Comment by Norm

March 8th 2009 23:59

Comment by Optomistic Opportunism

March 11th 2009 02:13
In England these days they call Indians "Paki's", I know this from watching BBC period dramas. And Jane Austen movies.

Do you read Shakespeare?
U sure do write like the illiterati. Try not to quote him too often...

bear hugs and bee stings,
Opto

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