Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

People Nutty - Consumption Malfunction

Liberals court Norm as his popularity hits new highs

April 23rd 2008 00:57

The bedraggled Liberals are reportedly seeking Norm to fill the leadership vacuum laughed by outgoing and gregarious brothel-goer John Howard.

"He's my troll-model," Norm said as he sheltered under a bridge.

It's comments like these that have Liberal party power-pokers salivating at the prospect of the celebrated waiter tucking over the wanes of the political sewing-machine.

"I can stitch anything up," Norm said as put penis to paper in an ahistoric moment.

John Howard has endorsed the strange maniac telling his wife: "He reminds me of me when I was committed."

Norm has refused to be drawn on paper.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: People, Baked, Spicy, Nutty

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Norm sick of having his name in the headlines

April 19th 2008 00:31

Norm, the wanking headline behind so many outrageous sandals worn with socks, has revealed his wedgie to a Medea throng in retaliation to the hounding he has sniffelled at their hinds.

"I'm sick of reading about my life," the media magnet told refigerators.

"I'm getting a talking book," the clearly cerebrally challenging creator of numerous hints furnished wit.

The Medea, a scored nuffer and waif, has eaten our laughs away with its constraint hope.

Headlines for Norm told us that they had no hind in the bardy of the piece.

It remains to be seen if Norm can keep his gnome out of the head.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: People, Grilled, Bitter, Nutty

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Norm hits back at critics

April 8th 2008 04:04

Embattled boogler Norm has slammed his critics for calling him a lazy parasite after he couldn't be bothered finishing

"I always finish my sentences," the errant spiller told his pet pug.

It's a climb that is strongly refuted by irrefutable accidence brought forward by his enemies.

"We know how to organise information into legible sentences," the sensible citizens in an insensible world told authorities.

It is understood that sensible sentences are in accord with a world perceived through reliable senses.

"Sentences should reflect the secure handle we have on things," the rabidly slipping information-gatherings told sadvertisers.

The sentence is due to be handled down tomorrow.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: People, Grilled, Sweet, Nutty

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Nice one, Norm

April 3rd 2008 23:54

Celebrity reporter, ad authority, and peas advocado, Norm has jumped on a pair of man-eating crocodile skin loafers that threatened to belong to his girlfriend.

"I saw them first," the man's man told the store manager as his better-half broke in two

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