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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

The knotted scientist and wizard of us, noted for his bad spills and pantfalls, has achieved spiritual and intellectual perfunction through eaing his own words.

"It's psycho Delphic, baby!" the wizardly scientist said with great flailing, inspite, humourility and encompassion, as pink elephants chaired him off to his rightful palace.

The tinman told him that all he needs is a heart.

"Who needs a heart when you have a brain like mine, baby?" he said while practising voodoo on his enemy for the week and spilling very badly.

It is understood that inadvertently spilling badly is concordant with inadmissable arrogance.

The trip, egregiously spurious and pretty, was another induced experience brought on by the scientist's unfathomable shallowness.

If anyone needs any proof, the scientist is selling his patented fig jam at stalls.

Just ask him.

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Norm: the media has ruined my life

April 18th 2008 02:33
Media mongol Norm has today vowed to turn his back on the media, which he bereaves has infiltrated his every thought and robbed him of wretches.

"I've spent my howl life in front of a screen," the virtual vulture squeaked as he circled a dying circus.

Many disenchanted utes of Norm's vantage have expleted a similar stale of woe.

"I think I speak for meany people when I say that laugh isn't taken seriously enough," the clearly misrepresenting boggle-eye bleated while getting a clip.

The media is saturated with shelf-important flood-fleeers of all shorts.

"It's why Indiana Jones built the Ark for the two-by-twos," the fluff-buff crunched with pulp-corn.

Norm is in hiding today getting a tan.

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Ray Martin to host World Youth Day

March 29th 2008 00:35
The devils wank among us

Archbishop Pell has hired Ray Martin to host World Youth Day that will culminate in the Pope's mass at Randwick racecourse.

"He's covered many diverse and wonderful occasions such as those evil Paxtons who never attended Church," a delighted Pell told Today Tonight.

Martin will come out of the retirement closet, dust off his hairpiece and fill his deep throat with the minced suasages of the rich and corrupt, for a nice change.

"It's a great event that will shower Australia's face to the world," the gutteral journalist told the angels, "And they pay cash, so I don't get taxed at all, which is great," the amphetamine addict told elephant-riders of Sri Lanka.

Pell, the face of the church in this cuntry, will juggle the Pope's balls to kick off the celebration of youth and vitality to be hosted by old farts.

"It's going to be a gas," holocaust survivors who were ignored by the church told cameras.

The event will show Australia's farce to the world.


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