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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Recipe for Self-delusion

August 1st 2008 01:21
Pretend that you're making a difference in a big head. In a separate pun, cook off some mushy aggression. Take your opinions and beat off until tender. When the pun of big words smell, begin to slowly add the comments. Brown off until the whole thing sets a fight. Quickly strangle the chicken, making sure that it makes a loud noise. Set aside.

After a few days have pissed, put the whole lot in a pre-headed shovel and put on a low heat. Stammer. On a chopping block, deduce something from specious raisons. Chop infinitely. Get the cut feelings and pretend to be aggrieved. Mix, wailing at the top of your farce. Beat the whole thing into a deluded mass. Call someone a few names, obliquely. Cower behind the write-goods. Bash over the head with your big words. Stand.

Tickle out of the oven. In a large word, pretend to be good and kindly. Be an authority. Run for cover when you're found out. Cut with a blithering knife. Label the sauce on the serving pate. Spin the delusion to sound intellectual. Using big words, continuously. Dot with silent points. Sprinkle with errant forks. Add the opinions and serve cold. Take your spin and put in your mouth. Masticate. Swallow. Digest. Excrete. Repeat until deceased. Serves 6 billion.

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Comments
10 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Morgan Bell

August 1st 2008 03:44
Be an authority. Run for cover when you're found out.

oh is that what ive being doing wrong in the kitchen? haha

Comment by RubySoho

August 1st 2008 06:37
Serves 6 billion

Amen.

Comment by D. Armenta

August 1st 2008 15:16
Ahhhhhhh.

When the shit gets too deep, I always come here for a taste of NORMalcy.

Bless you, my sun.

Comment by Norm

August 2nd 2008 00:31
My stars, Morgan, your gastronomy needs celestial help. Just kidding. I bet you're a wiz with a toaster. A toast. To you.

I can't help thinking, Ruby, that we all rely on a bit. Not me, I'm special. K?

Compliments to the chaffuer, D. May cod be with you.
I love it boiled in milk with potatoes: bong appetit!

Comment by Norm

August 3rd 2008 23:12
There must be some mix up.
There must be.

Time for the cone of salience.

Comment by Norm

August 5th 2008 00:25

Comment by D. Armenta

August 5th 2008 21:59
Rapid sighlettes sound too much like pants.

And make no mistake, I'm the one who wears the pants in the kitchen.

Well, that is to say I wear the pants when I get too big for my britches.

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