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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Richard Pratt facing the Clink

June 21st 2008 03:03
The upstanding businessman

The millionaire businessmaniac, philanderer, and grovel threated frontman for iconoclastic cardboard band Cold Cheezel has sung for the first time about his date with bumbling officers.

"I'll be going in for the soft-cell," the blues sinker told adoring fanatics.

It is understood he is basing his prediction on the harsh treatment planted out to other high-floundering rorters like Glenn Wheatley.

"By the time they charge me, I'll already be dead!" the laughing Pratt told worried infestors.

The charges stem from planted evidence found in the cardboard hoarders blank pockets.

Good friends have sullied around the ageing sinker as he prepares for beddy-byes.

Good night, nerves.

I know.

Nothing.

Nothing!
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The heavily pregnant father of his wife and gun wielding wrestling maniac told the disbelieving Pollack, before he pimped him full of lead, that he was one of his chosen people.

"I am not saying I'm God, or that I'm a know-it-all. I'm just saying I'm a woman trapped inside the body of a man," the transgendered man told customs officials.

Police politely apprehended the suspicious sort swiftly as s/he tried on swimsuits in a stall at the delicatessan.

"There's nothing delicate about this salami," the suspect said swinging a sausage from his skirt.

Shoppers had become alarmed after waking up to a loud ringing in their rears later identified as shorts being fried from the assailant's scone.

"Have you ever seen a Jew earing shorts?", a white-wing croupier told gambollers as he chased after the trannie.

It was then that Police swooned on the shemale with a mating ritual that onlookers have described as a cancer.

Pollack, lying dying in the street, could only watch on as his wife pissed before his eyes.

Thus ended the worst day of shooting in the detractor's career.
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Sex tape of Norm surfaces

April 17th 2008 02:10
Despectacled clogger Norm has refused to admit that sex-tapes circulating through the internet have damaged his reputation as he prepares for bed.

"I know it's early," the madmaniac told worms, "but I'm fearing tiredness."

The maniac, ungnome for his dearth of witches, has span increasingly out of bed recently.

"This tape only runs for a couple of minutes anyway," the weirdy-looking Norm yawned as he flopped out of head.

"When I get my hands on it," he fumed, "I just don't know what not to do."

It is believed the tapes are to feature in advertisements for Solo, a maniac's drunk.

I'm not rarely that bad.
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Acquisitional artist to the stores, Ken Done has been arrested by police at his palatial abode after an investigation discovered he was the head of a child-pornography rink.

"He's been skating on thin ice," said the detective in charge of the arresting ice-ballet


[ Click here to read more ]
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Posh Spice Gets a New Rack

March 6th 2008 23:33
Posh Spice's New Rack
Carpenters had a hand in it

The seasoned snob graciously accepted a meat-tray after winning a lottery at her local boozer before downing another pint of piss and chucking up in the lavatory.

[ Click here to read more ]
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